The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

by Patricia Evans

When a couple is having a real argument about a real issue, like how to discipline their children or how much time to spend apart or together, both parties may feel angry but they can say, “This is what I’m feeling angry about …” or “This is what I want,” and eventually, if there is goodwill on both their parts, the issue is resolved.

If he counters all her views, she may believe that he really respects her views but just can’t accept the fact that she has them because he seems to think differently from her and so can’t understand her.

very covertly, often with feigned innocence. The abuser invades your boundaries and moves into your psyche by telling you that what is meaningful to you has little meaning — what is valuable to you has little value. He attempts to dilute meaning and value in your life.