Turn My Mourning into Dancing: Finding Hope in Hard Times

by Henri J.M. Nouwen

And I wondered again, as perhaps we all wonder when grief hits hard and hurts us deeply: Why did such a thing happen? To reveal God’s glory? To remind us of the fragility of life? Or perhaps to deepen the faith of those who carry on? It is hard to answer yes when everything seems so dark.

Eloquent phrases cannot soothe our deep pain.

Many of us are tempted to think that if we suffer, the only important thing is to be relieved of our pain. We want to flee it at all costs. But when we learn to move through suffering, rather than avoid it, then we greet it differently.

This is such an important point. We think of grief and mourning like touching a hot stove. We pull away immediately as if the grief itself will burn or swallow us. But grief and mourning are God’s gifts to us as part of the balm that comes after suffering. Mourning is the soothing aloe that we put on the burn, not the hot stove. To avoid grief is like pretending the burn didn’t happen at all and then being surprised when it does not heal.

I realized that healing begins with our taking our pain out of its diabolic isolation and seeing that whatever we suffer, we suffer it in communion with all of humanity, and yes, all of creation. In so doing, we become participants in the great battle against the powers of darkness. Our little lives participate in something larger.

Our busyness becomes a curse, even while we think it provides us with relief from the pain inside.

I am less likely to deny my suffering when I learn how God uses it to mold me and draw me closer to him. I will be less likely to see my pains as interruptions to my plans and more able to see them as the means for God to make me ready to receive him. I let Christ live near my hurts and distractions.