The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism
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“Getting angry is like taking a small dose of slow-acting poison,”
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It leads to higher blood pressure and arterial damage, and it spurs cholesterol-filled fat cells to empty into the bloodstream.
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Hostility is often nothing but the external manifestation of internal turmoil.
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kindness charisma can be a surprisingly effective tool in dealing with difficult people.
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Defensiveness, after all, is often just the outward face of fear and insecurity.
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Just coming into a conversation with the mindset of “Help me understand how you see things” can change the outcome completely.
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perfection is not when there is no more to add, but when there is no more to subtract.
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Each one of your supporting points should open with entertaining anecdotes, fascinating facts, compelling statistics, great metaphors, examples, and analogies.
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The speeches that give us a feeling of awe and wonder are those that appeal to our childhood roots.
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my introducer warns the audience that there will be no Q&A session at the end, so their one and only chance to ask questions is during the speech.
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Use the word you as often as possible. Use their words, their stories, their metaphors: hole in one for golfers, shipwreck for sailors. Try also to match your verbs to your audience: lead or initiate for businessmen, build for engineers, craft for artists. Get graphic.
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Red conveys energy, passion. Wear red to wake up an audience. Black shows you’re serious and that you won’t take no for an answer. White exudes honesty and innocence, which is why defendants often choose it in the courtroom. Blue emits trust. The darker the shade, the deeper the level of trust it elicits. Gray is a good neutral, the quintessential color of business. Orange and yellow are not recommended. Because they are the first to attract the human eye, they are also the first to tire it.
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When you know that a particular presentation will have a significant impact on your career, it’s worth rehearsing until you feel that it’s part of your very bones.
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owning the stage,
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be sure to have a wide stance,
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without a podium or a lectern.
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Moving comfortably around the stage will make you appear much more confident, powerful, and charismatic.
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find the right volume
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roam about the stage is to give one to two seconds of eye contact per person.
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angel wings visualization. He told himself that the people he was presenting to were his angels, gathered here to work together.
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increasing his voice fluctuation to enhance persuasiveness, on smiling when he wanted a warm voice, and on dropping the intonation of his voice when he wanted to convey confidence and authority.
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It’s really worth paying attention to your tempo because the slower you speak, the more thoughtful and deliberate you will sound, and the more attention people will give to what you say.
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pausing regularly during your presentations is an important skill to acquire. It’s one of the hallmarks of effective speakers and really is one of the key tools for great speaking.
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After delivering a key point or an impactful story, pause for a few seconds to let your audience take it in. If you’ve just used humor, have the courage to wait for the laughter to swell and subside before you move on. Pausing is important both to begin and to end your speeches. When you walk on stage, come to the center, face the audience, and stop. Remain completely silent as you count three full seconds while slowly sweeping your eyes across the crowd and making eye contact. This may feel endless, but it will be well worth it. Nothing rivets an audience’s attention like this kind of ...more
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If you’re having trouble pausing, try color-coding your speeches.
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I would also underline any part that needed warmth,
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It’s easier to be perceived as charismatic during a crisis because people facing an emergency are more readily affected by a leader’s magnetism;1 they become “charisma hungry.”
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people who respond to crisis with bold, decisive actions will be perceived as charismatic.
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After analyzing more than three dozen studies of charismatic leadership, Wharton School professor Robert House concluded that “expressing high
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performance expectations” of people while “communicating a high degree of confidence” in their ability to meet those expectations was the hallmark of charismatic leadership.
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When asked what becomes of the failed charismatics in the world of business, Harvard professor Rakesh Khurana says: “We do what we’ve always done to our failed messiahs: we crucify them.”
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as people get accustomed to seeing your human side, you’ll be relieved of some of the expectations of always being “on.”
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When people start to put you on a pedestal and to see you as special, different, or superhuman, you might end up feeling isolated.
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charisma’s greatest danger is that it gives you the power to convince people even when you’re completely wrong.
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charisma is: behaviors that project presence, power, and warmth.
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