My Promised Land: The Triumph and Tragedy of Israel

by Ari Shavit

“Officers are human beings, too,” says the brigade commander. “And as a human being you suddenly face a chasm. On the one hand is the noble legacy of the youth movement, the youth village, Dr. Lehmann. On the other hand is the brutal reality of Lydda. You are surprised by your own surprise. For years you’ve trained for this day. You’ve prepared the village files. You’ve been told there is an inevitable war coming. You’ve been told that the Arabs will have to go. And yet you are in shock. In Lydda, the war is as cruel as it can be. The killing, the looting, the feelings of rage and revenge. Then the column marching. And although you are strong and well-trained and resilient, you experience some sort of mental collapse. You feel the humanist education you received collapsing. And you see the Jewish soldiers, and you see the marching Arabs, and you feel heavy, and deeply sad. You feel like you’re facing something so immense you cannot deal with, you cannot even grasp.”