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used to welcome the idea of drowning in those blue eyes of hers. But now, seeing the disdain she stares me down with, I realize that drowning alone wasn’t what I craved, but sinking together.
she is Shadow, then I am Flame. This girl is the very thing I can’t seem to escape—can’t seem to go anywhere without the remnants of her following. Where I am, she is. Whether it’s in the flesh or in the fragments of my mind. And where there is a flame, there is always a shadow. She is my inevitable.
She is still my mission, and I am still her monster.
I knew you. Knew your past, your present—and your future that we were foolish enough to think I’d be a part of.
We were inevitably imperfect for each other.
Because I can’t seem to decide what’s more frightening—watching her stop fighting or watching her die.
Yet, I can’t help but think that in another life, another time, another chance to choose each other—I would be in that bed beside her.
She looks at me, shocked. And then she smiles, bright and big like the night sky hanging above us. I fear she could rival the stars.
“Don’t live to die. Die because you lived.”
At my weakest, I wish for him. And at my strongest, I wish I could say it wasn’t the same.
“Your name seems like a good word to die with on my lips.”
and it’s her I’ll breathe in for the last time.
I sink into oblivion, the thought of her my final prayer.
And that I know better than most that surviving is sometimes more painful than death.”
“Jealousy looks good on you, Gray,” I murmur, my fingers still cupping her chin. Her eyes flick between mine, full of a familiar fire. “I’m not jealous.” My gaze lingers on her lips before traveling down the length of her. “Then you just look good.”
“No. I won’t give you the satisfaction of making me laugh.” “But then you’d be depriving me of the sound.”
I am the embodiment of the weakness he has been taught to hate.
You remind me of what could have been. In another life, I think Ava would have grown up to be like you.”
And I fear I’d never move again if it meant she stayed beside me.
“I found proof of a paradise.”
“Still contemplating drowning you, actually.” My voice is breathy, my own fingers wandering over the curve of his jaw. “Oh, darling, I already am.” His lips inch closer to mine, teasing me. “And I’m begging you to let me breathe you in.”
“I thought you never begged?” “I’m getting used to it when it comes to you.”
“You cannot be nothing when you are everything to someone else.”
“You’re not just a mission to me. You’re not just another enemy for me to find. You’re something even more terrifying.” Her voice is little more than a whisper. “And what is that?” “A need.” We stare at each other, both surprised by the words that pushed their way past my lips. Sunlight is streaming through her hair, making her glow like something far too heavenly for me.
thought you had found your courage,” she says softly. I smile slightly. “Maybe I’m fine with being a fool. So long as it’s for you.”
“When a father loves you, you don’t feel the need to go looking for another one.”
Seeing her enjoy life makes surviving mine suddenly worth it.
“Plagues, I love that sound,” he murmurs, making me fall silent. “I would tattoo it into my skin if it meant you’d laugh at me for doing it.”
Her laugh alone could cure the most corrupted parts of me, and that is exactly what it’s done since the day I met her.
“Oh, but you are my undoing. My deliverance. My downfall disguised as a deity.” Another slow step. “You are my ruin.” I’m dazed, unable to do anything but let a smile tug at my lips. “Call us even. Call me crazy. I don’t care. Just…” His eyes are pleading, brimming with emotion. “Just call me yours.”
“No, I’m sick of running. And I won’t spend the rest of my life doing it unless it’s you I’m running back to.”
Because living without you is only bearable when I know you are out there still living too.”
Because before I loved her, I longed for her.
A place where I am nothing and no one and happy being powerless, so long as she is beside me.
She was supposed to be my forever. Now I’ll watch her become someone else’s. Because the beast doesn’t get the beauty.
