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And not a single trace of her anywhere. Well, no physical trace of her anywhere. And yet, I see her everywhere. She haunts me. Half the time I’m wondering whether she’s already dead, whether the desert has claimed another, swallowed her whole and spit her out as a phantom to ensure my suffering.
She’s a phantom in human form. Like trying to clutch the wind in your fist, unable to see it even while feeling it slip between your fingers. And the knowledge of that has me feeling something pathetically too close to relief.
“Sympathy doesn’t look good on you, Azer.” “Everything looks good on me, Gray.” I flash her a smile. “Don’t lie.”
“Under different circumstances,” he pants, “I promise you I’m much more fun tied up.”
THIS FREAK
“Do you regret any of it?” His voice is soft, soothing. “Regret what?” “Us?” A pause. “Regret what happened between us? Even the more recent things?” I whisper, recalling our moment of weakness on the rooftop.
Wonder if u regret the secret.... of ussssssss
“The truth, then?” He nods. “The truth, always.”
You’re not just another enemy for me to find. You’re something even more terrifying.” Her voice is little more than a whisper. “And what is that?” “A need.” We stare at each other, both surprised by the words that pushed their way past my lips. Sunlight is streaming through her hair, making her glow like something far too heavenly for me. “I thought you had found your courage,” she says softly. I smile slightly. “Maybe I’m fine with being a fool. So long as it’s for you.”
KAI AZER WELCOME TO THE RANKS OF THE GREATEST YEARNERBOYS OF ALL TIME.
The action is so small, yet so significant. Now that I know the meaning behind it, I swallow at his willingness to share something so special with me. But then he takes that thumb and guides it toward my cheek to wipe away a tear there. Then he pulls it back to his lips, kissing it again before using it to wipe away another one of my tears. “You’re strong enough to wipe away your own tears, but too stubborn to let someone care for you,” he murmurs.
Its actually never been so over in the history of ever
“Tell me you hate me, and I’ll still count every heartbeat, every freckle, every shiver of your body, if only you say it with a smile.” He backs away, freeing my face from his hands. “I may be a monster, but if you cut me, I’ll bleed. And if you break my heart, Pae, you’ll break me. So, if even a sliver of your soul longs for mine, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to deserve it.”
Omfg. Omfg.
“Oh, but you are my undoing. My deliverance. My downfall disguised as a deity.” Another slow step. “You are my ruin.”
GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT
I’m dazed, unable to do anything but let a smile tug at my lips. “Call us even. Call me crazy. I don’t care. Just…” His eyes are pleading, brimming with emotion. “Just call me yours.”
This is actually crazy
