The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

by Nathaniel Branden

Self-esteem is shaped by both internal and external factors.

Goes against the Katt Williams line, it’s the esteem of your mother****** self.

To trust one’s mind and to know that one is worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem.

There is a continuous feedback loop between our actions in the world and our self-esteem.

The question is sometimes asked, “Is it possible to have too much self-esteem?” No, it is not; no more than it is possible to have too much physical health

Sometimes self-esteem is confused with boasting or bragging or arrogance; but such traits reflect not too much self-esteem, but too little; they reflect a lack of self-esteem.

Low-self-esteem individuals often feel irritable in the presence of people who are enthusiastic about life.

Self-efficacy means confidence in the functioning of my mind, in my ability to think, understand, learn, choose, and make decisions; confidence in my ability to understand the facts of reality that fall within the sphere of my interests and needs; self-trust; self-reliance. Self-respect means assurance of my value; an affirmative attitude toward my right to live and to be happy; comfort in appropriately asserting my thoughts, wants, and needs; the feeling that joy and fulfillment are my natural birthright.

Self-efficacy is deeper than confidence in our specific knowledge and skills, based on past successes and accomplishments, although it is clearly nurtured by them. It is confidence in what made it possible for us to acquire knowledge and skills and to achieve successes. It is confidence in our ability to think, in our consciousness and how we choose to use it. Again, trust in our processes—and, as a consequence, a disposition to expect success for our efforts.

Sometimes people who feel fear in the human realm drop to a very low level of consciousness in their relationships and seek the safety and security of competence in the impersonal word of machines, mathematics, or abstract thought.

It expresses itself in an openness to criticism and a comfort about acknowledging mistakes, because one’s self-esteem is not tied to an image of “being perfect.”

High self-esteem is intrinsically reality oriented.

low-self-esteem individuals tend to underestimate or overestimate their abilities; high-self-esteem individuals tend to assess their abilities realistically.

It is low self-esteem that experiences a simple admission of error as humiliation and even self-damnation.