The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

by Nathaniel Branden

Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is in being who they are, not in being better than someone else.

A modern business can no longer be run by a few people who think and many people who do what they are told (the traditional military, command-and-control model). Today, organizations need not only an unprecedentedly higher level of knowledge and skill among all those who participate but also a higher level of independence, self-reliance, self-trust, and the capacity to exercise initiative—in a word, self-esteem.

Consider the impact on our life and on our sense of self entailed by the following options: Focusing versus nonfocusing. Thinking versus nonthinking. Awareness versus unawareness. Clarity versus obscurity or vagueness. Respect for reality versus avoidance of reality. Respect for facts versus indifference to facts. Respect for truth versus rejection of truth. Perseverance in the effort to understand versus abandonment of the effort. Loyalty in action to our professed convictions versus disloyalty—the issue of integrity. Honesty with self versus dishonesty. Self-confrontation versus self-avoidance. Receptivity to new knowledge versus closed-mindedness. Willingness to see and correct errors versus perseverance in error. Concern with congruence (consistency) versus disregard of contradictions. Reason versus irrationalism; respect for logic, consistency, coherence, and evidence versus disregard or defiance of these. Loyalty to the responsibility of consciousness versus betrayal of that responsibility. If one wishes to understand what self-esteem depends on, this list is a good place to begin.

Living consciously entails: A mind that is active rather than passive. An intelligence that takes joy in its own function. Being “in the moment,” without losing the wider context. Reaching out toward relevant facts rather than withdrawing from them. Being concerned to distinguish among facts, interpretations, and emotions. Noticing and confronting my impulses to avoid or deny painful or threatening realities. Being concerned to know “where I am” relative to my various (personal and professional) goals and projects, and whether I am succeeding or failing. Being concerned to know if my actions are in alignment with my purposes. Searching for feedback from the environment so as to adjust or correct my course when necessary. Persevering in the attempt to understand in spite of difficulties. Being receptive to new knowledge and willing to reexamine old assumptions. Being willing to see and correct mistakes. Seeking always to expand awareness—a commitment to learning—therefore, a commitment to growth as a way of life. A concern to understand the world around me. A concern to know not only external reality but also internal reality, the reality of my needs, feelings, aspirations, and motives, so that I am not a stranger or a mystery to myself. A concern to be aware of the values that move and guide me, as well as their roots, so that I am not ruled by values I have irrationally adopted...

a story told about Winston Churchill. He was invited to address a graduating class at a school, and the students waited expectantly through the laudatory introduction he received, eager for what the great man would say. Finally, Churchill stood up, looked down at the class, and thundered, “Never-never-never-never-never-never-never give up!” Then he sat down.