When It Rains (Rains, #1)

by Lisa De Jong

This is the moment I dreamt of for years. I was the princess waiting for my prince to come save me from the top of the highest tower. Now, I’m unreachable

I’ve tried for years to get you out of my head because you were supposed to be my best friend, but I can’t do it, Kate. I want you to give me a chance.”

He placed his heart in my hands and I crushed it.

“I’ll play this game by your rules. But, Kate, remember that I can’t shut my feelings off just because you tell me to,” he says, putting his hand back on his steering wheel.

I often wonder what would have happened if I’d told someone what Drew did to me that night.

If Morgan hadn’t been drunk that night, she might have noticed how fragile I was. Would I have told her? If my mom had been home that night when I opened the door, would I have told her? If Beau had seen me that night, he would have known. But there was no one. I’M

For as long as I live I will never do to others as they have done to me. I

I live every day of my life in constant fear somebody will take advantage of me. Living life that way is like not even living at all.

“My fact for the day: I wanted to come over here as soon as you drove away yesterday. I want to know you. I want to know what it is that made you cry, but more than that, I want to know what I have to do to make you happy again,” he says, his voice soft.

Compliments are not something I take very easily. It means that someone is paying attention to me, and it makes me uncomfortable.

“I just thought you should know that you’re the best first kiss I’ve ever had.”

“I’m not going to be the guy who’s going to leave when things get tough. You’ve been through some shit, I can see it all over your face, but I want to try to make it better, Kate. You deserve to be happy.”

“I was raped,”

I pinch my eyes closed, and work to find the words to explain who I am today.

“I should never have

“It’s not your fault. Do you hear me? None of this is your fault.” He holds me tight against his chest as I tell him what happened that night.

When I tell him about the rain mocking me while Drew held me down, his arms tense up. I thought telling my story would suffocate me, but I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

“You’re beautiful,” he says in my ear,

“From now on . . .” kiss. “When it rains . . .” kiss. “Think of me.”

I swear my heart just melted into a puddle on the ground. It’s a moment I’ll never forget . . . the moment Asher Hunt kissed my fears away. I’ve spent two years waiting for the sun, and all I’ve needed was him.

“Thank you,” I smile. “For what?” “For giving me a reason to smile again,”

“What are you doing?” I squeal. “Taking care of you.”

He places one arm beneath my head and the other around my waist. He hugs me close, fitting us together like one. I listen to the rain hitting hard against the window and concentrate on how it feels to be here in Asher’s arms. He’s my life size security blanket keeping me safe and content. This is exactly what I need to think about when I hear the rain.

I realize the key to living is getting past the things I can’t change and putting my energy into the things I can.

I may not be into superheroes, but if I were, Asher would be it for me.

“I wanted to kiss you that night, and every night after, but I didn’t because I was scared. Scared that I would blow the one chance I had with you but now . . . Fuck. I don’t even get my chance, do I?”

Asher has taught me a lot of things. He has taught me that as long as I’m still breathing, my life isn’t over and that I shouldn’t be so quick to write myself off. I may not have the ability to control everything that happens to me, but I can decide how I react to it.

If I’m too scared to do anything even remotely out of my comfort zone, I’ll never be able to live life the way it’s meant to be lived.

And he has taught me what lov...

Love is the most powerful emotion that lives inside us all. And when you have it, it can help diminish all the painful emotions that...

He gives me worth and purpose. I know I’m falling in love with him, but I’m afraid, at least until I know he feels the same way.

Everything by Lifehouse.

I want to live the life I have left . . . with you. I don’t want to spend it here.”

I thought I knew what pain was, but nothing has ever felt like this. This is excruciating, mind-numbing, heart-aching type of torture. It vibrates through my body, taking anger and confusion right along with it.

Cancer. Asher has cancer. I never wanted to hear anyone I love say that word. And Asher . . . he’s too young. He has so much left to accomplish, but he’s not going to get the chance.

I thought I had my life all figured out until just a few minutes ago when the words Asher and dying were used in the same sentence.

I spent the past few months building this tower out of blocks only to have cancer come and knock it down.

I clasp his right hand between my hands and stare down at the guy who I thought would be my forever. Now I know that he might not even get a chance at forever, and that’s the biggest lump I’ve ever had to swallow.

“It’s been hurting. It hurt way before I even knew I was sick,” he states. There’s an ache in my throat as I listen to him. He’s been dealing with this the whole time he was walking me through my problems. I must have seemed so selfish because I didn’t even notice that anything was wrong with him.

I try to sleep, but I can’t. I don’t want to waste a single second with him. They say everything happens for a reason. I don’t see any reason for this. I don’t want to think about what happens when he’s gone.

For the first time in a few days, I’m reminded that we may not have much time left together. There are so many things Asher will never get to experience, and I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach every time I think about it. There are bad people in this world that get to live a whole life and Asher, a man filled with so much good, is having his cut far too short. Life just doesn’t make sense; it’s maddening.

Everyone should get to experience a life filled with love, marriage and kids. Everyone should get to choose a career and live out their dream.

When I was a little girl, I believed in fairy tales and one of the dreams I had was someday dancing alongside my prince. Asher’s that guy for me. He’s my dream and my wish come true. He’s my prince.

There are so many things that people take for granted that the beautiful man in front of me will never get to do . . . simple things that everyone should get the chance to experience.

“I need to know that you’ll do everything you just told me you wanted to do and more. And, I don’t want you to do it for me. I need you to do it for you.”

“There’s one more thing I’d make sure to be doing five or ten years from now. I’d slowly make love to you every single night and after I was done, I’d hold you until you drifted to sleep. And when the sun came up, I’d make sure to do it all over again because that’s what a girl like you deserves . . . a man who adores you. All of you.”

Seeing him suffer—the person who I owe everything to—is worst type of pain I’ve ever experienced. He’s drowning, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do to save him.

“I shouldn’t ever have to let you go.”

“You don’t live because of me. You live because you let me love you. You made the choice to breathe all on your own . . . I just helped you find the strength to inhale.”

“I was prepared to leave this Earth until I met you, and now I don’t want to be anywhere but here with you. I love you so damn much, Kate.”