But He's My Grumpy Neighbor (But He's a Carter Brother #1)

by Annah Conwell

This is for the girls who spent their lives hiding in the shadows and walking on eggshells. The ones who grew up to become women that dance in the sunlight and draw boundaries in permanent marker. In case you haven’t heard it lately: I’m proud of you.

could move, but the thought of starting over again scares me, so here I stay, bored and in dire need of conversation.

Growing up, I couldn’t wear what I liked, so now I take advantage of every freedom I have.

“Sorry about him!” Smiley twin yells across the yard. “He gets nervous around beautiful women.”

The differences between the two brothers were interesting, to say the least. My new neighbor does not seem to be a people person, but his taste in furniture was surprising and there’s just something about him that makes me want to get to know him more. Maybe that’s just the loneliness talking, though.

“You can do this, Juliette,” I coach myself in front of my gilded mirror. “All you have to do is go over there, give him the plant, and introduce yourself. Then you can run back to your hobbit hole and overthink the entire interaction.”

This is what happens when you live alone for too long–your awkwardness grows and multiplies like a weird fungus.

All my life, I’ve been the observer. But Juliette… she made me feel like I was on the other side of the magnifying glass for once. All the more reason to keep her at a distance. I don’t need to be friends with some innocent but curious woman.

But relationships don’t come easy for me. I like being alone, and I don’t trust easily.

“What do your spidey senses think of him?” I groan and the noise makes Murphy look up from his study of the grass. “You’ve got to quit calling it that.” “Would you rather me ask what your intense observancy and forced empathy that stems from childhood trauma revealed to you about him?”

I gape at him behind his back. Why does he have to like tea? He’s gorgeous, dresses like the men on my fantasy life Pinterest boards, has antique furniture, and likes tea. If he wasn’t so ornery, I’d think he was my future husband.

I’m upset because you refused to let me pick up the trash in your driveway and also your commanding voice made my knees weak. Yeah, that wouldn’t make me sound weird at all.

Being around Juliette is like keeping a candy jar on your desk: you know you shouldn’t reach for more, but it’s right there, taunting you.

When no one communicates effectively, you pick up other methods of discernment.

“You’ve got this whole I keep secrets for a living vibe.”

Working out right now sounds about as appealing as walking over hot coals, and the fact that I drug myself out of bed at all instead of hitting snooze is a miracle.

I’m not used to male attention, so I don’t know how to handle it whenever I think too much about it. And I tend to overthink … a lot.

I was content to spend my life alone in peace until Juliette came along with her pretty smile and starlight in her eyes. She snuck her way into my life and now I care about her.

“No, it’s not.” He pauses. “Actually, I take that back, you’ll probably have to apologize even more.” “That’s encouraging.”

“I think people do that a lot. Fall in love with the idea of a life that isn’t theirs and then when they step into that life, suddenly it’s different than what they thought. Duller than they imagined.”

How do you function in peace when all you’ve ever known is chaos?

“So my first lesson is going to be talking to my elderly neighbors while they try to beat each other at a game of chance?” “Bingo!” “I’m starting to regret my decision.”

If you’ve never seen an eighty-year-old woman in a yellow bicycle helmet stick out her tongue, you’re missing out.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I woke up this morning and had to fight my inner dragon. She doesn’t like running.” I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “Inner dragon?” I ask, barely suppressing my laughter. “Oh, yeah. She’s the one I blame for my late-night online purchases and my tendency to want to hole up in a cave during the winter.” “Was she hard to beat?” Juliette gives a sober nod. “She might still win if we don’t hurry and get this over with.”

I always thought running was best alone, but it’s not too bad sharing the time with someone else. It feels less lonely than usual.

“Running is like dying but without the relief of death.” Her words come out stilted in between short, panting breaths. “That’s a disturbing analogy.”

“Your mind was quiet during that whole time?” “Pretty much. Yours wasn’t?” “I don’t even know what that would feel like.”

I’m probably confusing myself more than our situation warrants, but this is what I do best. Overthink until I spiral.

“Anything you don’t want is worthy of punishment. You deserve respect.”

“Wow, you must really care about her.” I do, too much. “She’s my friend.” “I hear friendship makes a great foundation for marriage.”

“I’m not like you, I can’t turn off the part of my brain that cares what people think. Ten years from now when I can’t sleep, I’m going to remember this moment in vivid detail and replay it over and over again until I’m nauseous.”

I thought he was attractive when he scowled but wow his smile is something else. I’d give away my entire tea collection just to see him smile like this all the time.

“I care about what you think, Juliette. The list of people who get to have opinions on my life is admittedly short, but you’re on it.”

I’ve never been one for music, but her giggle might just be my new favorite song.

She huffs. “My Deadly Bus Driver. It’s a show about bus-driving serial killers.” Lovely. Can always count on Caroline to find the most obscure crime shows.

For once in my life I’d be a part of a family that loves and wants to be around each other. Maybe the reward is worth the risk.

“Why do you watch those shows if they freak you out?” “I like to live on the edge.”

Because living without Juliette just isn’t an option, it’s no more possible than surviving without the sun or oxygen. As terrifying as it is to admit, I need her. I just have to hope she needs–or at least wants–me too.

“I’ll be right back, don’t move.” “I was planning on running a lap or two around the lake, but I guess I’ll stay put.” I shake my head at her sassy remark,

“Please don’t ever hold back or change yourself around me. You’re incredible, Jules. You’re like a sunflower, always growing toward the light. You make everyone around you want to be better, including me–especially me. I’m sorry your parents didn’t love you the way they should have. You deserve better. If someone isn’t giving you what you deserve–even me–you don’t have to settle for less, okay?”

“I don’t have anyone.” I feel like someone else is speaking. I’ve never admitted my loneliness out loud, even to Caroline. My tendency is to make everyone think I’m doing great even when I’m not. “You have me.”

I smile down at her as affection swells in my heart. She’s so easy to adore. I could see myself falling in love with her. When her hands clench the fabric of my shirt, I realize I already am. It’s as if there’s been a pile of embers in my heart and she came along and stoked them back to life.

He’s looking at me like he’s never seen a star before and I’m a whole galaxy.

“You love it.” “I’ve heard people say the line between love and hate is thin.”

“I like her a little too much to let her go,” he says, his brown eyes soft. “She’s basically a racoon. She stays up late, eats junk food, and causes trouble. You sure you want her?” Caroline hits my shoulder, laughing. “On second thought…” he trails off.

I’ve come to accept the fact that while I can’t be who you deserve, neither can any other man. So, I’m asking for permission to fail you.

“I read! I listen to audiobooks all the time.” “Audiobooks don’t count.” “I’m not getting into this argument with you again,”

Smh AUDIOBOOKS DO COUNT

“Jules, you said you’d stay here all night for me, well I’m telling you I’d leave for you. Because I love you.”

“Jules, you are everything to me. Your soul is made up of sunshine and sugar and silk. Being with you these past few months has been the greatest joy of my life. I don’t have the words to express how beautiful and utterly amazing you are. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”