Unhinged

by Vera Valentine

I strained at my hinges,

LMFAOOOO

The incontinent little demon was blind, half deaf, and mostly bald,

LMFAOAO NOT MOSTLY BALD I CANTTTT

with slow, smooth strokes that stirred something deep in my wood.

LMFAOOOOOO BYEEEE NOT IN MY WOOD

Oh well, it’ll make a good story in group therapy when they toss me in an asylum.”

shes so me coded

Something about being called a good door made my human legs feel weak and shaky.

Im fucking cryingjdhfkvlsj LMFAOOO

“It’s me.” I blurted, my voice trembling almost as much as my body. “It’s me, I’ll do anything for you. Absolutely anything. I- I’ll pay you back for the clothes and cook for you and do the laundry…”

GODDDD HOW I NEED MY MEN.