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“I have no name but yours, Tana. I am your faithful guardian and protector, nothing more, nothing less. I am your door, and I love you.”
The man that offered me this-” I pointed back and forth between us, “-said that we must be together. In the way you are with your shivering blue stick.”
I didn’t realize my goddamn front door was a voyeur, dude!”
If I hadn’t already been made of wood, I’d be stiff as a board at the sight.
“But, I mean, it can’t hurt anything, right? I mean, women fuck cucumbers and bedposts and balloons and shit. This isn’t that weird, right?”
Wrapping my round brass protrusion in a soft cloth and a firm grip, she started polishing my knob with slow, smooth strokes that stirred something deep in my wood.
“Right. My shockingly-attractive door has come to life after I fucked him, vowing to protect me against my murderous panty-sniffing super that broke in and poisoned my orange juice. Just another Thursday.”
Something about being called a good door made my human legs feel weak and shaky.
“So, Hera also said that you’ll turn back into a door every full moon, so we’ll need to repeat this when you transform so I can bring you back with my magic pussy.”
