Fakers with Benefits (Crimson Club Book 2)

by Willow Dixon

Angel looked at my card, then at Vlado, then me. “Does your lackey talk, or just act like a human purse and hold all your shit for you?” “I talk.” Vlado smiled in that soft way he usually reserved for kids or animals. “Just don’t have a lot to add to the conversation right now.” “Other than being a human handbag?” Angel quipped, some of the suspicion leaving him. Some. “Other than being a human handbag,” Vlado agreed.

“When do you get off?” “As often as my wrist will allow.” Vlado burst out laughing and Angel slapped his hand over his mouth, his eyes wide with horror.

“Was he inappropriate toward you?” “I don’t think so. He overtipped.” Stone tilted his head but didn’t say anything. “And when I went to him after the event to tell him he was a moron for handing me hundred-dollar bills like they were BOGO coupons and to give them back, he gave me his business card and said he has a job offer for me.”

Why did he have to go all cloak and dagger on me? I want to tell him to go fuck himself with a cactus, but what if it’s legit? It’s not like I’m rolling in cash. I’d be stupid to turn down easy money.

“Gray says that to me all the time. Trust your gut. But my gut also told me that getting a perm last summer was a good idea, so what does that bitch know?” Stone threw back his head and laughed.

“Should I be worried about how much thought you’ve put into this?” He cocked his eyebrow at me, a smile on his handsome face. “Bitch, please, I routinely plot the deaths and disposal of people who piss me off. I’m never gonna do it, but it’s fun to fantasize.” “You’re kind of scary for someone who looks like a cherub.” I batted my eyelashes and put on my best innocent look. “I have no idea what you mean, sir.”

“I’m physically incapable of being quiet. Want to see me lose my shit? Tell me to calm down or be quiet. If you’re gonna steal my sparkle, I’m gonna unleash on you for ruining my entire week.”

I lifted my gaze to his face, to find him grinning at me. “Like what you see?” he asked, a teasing lilt in his voice. “Duh, dude. Have you seen you?”

“Quinn Reynolds.” He stuck out his hand. Vlado shook it. “Can I ask why you’re here?” “’Cause I’m not about to show up at a rented office to meet some mysterious and possibly sketchy dude alone.” Angel pressed his hands to his hips. “I’ve seen this movie, the pretty one dies first.”

He stood akimbo again and glared at Vlado. “I swear I’ll come back as a ghost and haunt your ass until the end of time if you kill me. I’ll make sure you never get laid again.”

“How did you know how much my suit cost?” “It’s Brunello Cucinelli, isn’t it?” “You have a good eye for designers.” “It’s my superpower. Too bad I have champagne taste and a mocktail budget.”

“Why am I here?” he asked. “Do you have any idea how confused I’ve been? You show up at my club and toss cash at me like I’m a debt collector. Then you offer me a job with zero info and have me meet you at a deserted building in an office that has nothing in it. This is sketchy as fuck.”

“Damn,” I breathed. I loved the clothes, but the clothes really loved me. The suit was perfectly tailored to my frame, and the silky shirt didn’t have a single wrinkle or fold in it considering it had been in that box for at least a few hours. The shoes were butter soft and felt like little clouds on my feet. Even the underwear were more luxurious than anything I had in my closet or drawers.

My ex-girlfriend—” “Girlfriend?” he cut in sharply. “You’re not gay?” “No.” I looked at him sidelong. “I suppose sexuality really is fluid, especially when cash is involved,” he said bitterly. “Woooow.” I faced him then, my throat closing around a bubble of hot anger. “You’re really going to pull that bullshit after you approached me and offered me cash to play a part? Maybe you should have asked what my sexuality is if my being gay is so important to you.”

“Gay for pay? Do you have any idea how offensive that is?” “Offensive? You kids think everything is offensive.” “Do not pull that boomer shit on me, asswipe.” “I’m a millennial.” “Boomer is a state of mind. And for the record, I was undressing you with my eyes at the club because I’m bi.” He snapped his mouth closed. “Yeah. Bi, as in bisexual. The B in LGBTQIA. I like guys and girls. I’ve been with both, and if that’s a problem, then let me out of the car now and find yourself another fake boytoy to get your daddy’s money.”

I have no issues with you being bisexual.” I sighed. “I get why you did it. But you have no idea how much biphobia I’ve had to deal with, from both sides, since I came out. I’m not gay enough for the gays, or straight enough for women. It sucks to be shoved into a box because people can’t accept that not everyone fits into stereotypes.”

“Do you think they have to fuck him?” He scrunched up his nose adorably. “Can you imagine what eighty-year-old balls look like? Bet they’re like prunes stuffed into stretched-out stockings.” Vlado made a strangled sound from the driver’s seat. “Did you really have to put that image in my head?” “Sorry not sorry. If I have to picture it, you do too.” Nick grinned sweetly at Vlado in the rearview mirror. “I’m never going to be able to look at Bryant the same way,” I drawled. “Also not sorry.”

“Not everything is a ‘how I met your father’ scenario.” “It should be. We need more epic romance in the world. Everything is all hookup apps and situationships. Where’s the magic? What happened to the fairytale experience the movies of my youth promised me?” He glanced between me and the back of Vlado’s head. “You two would look hot together. Can I watch?” “What?” Vlado and I spluttered.

“Before this gets any weirder”—Vlado’s shoulders shook with the effort to not laugh—“let me explain.” “Am I going to be disappointed?” Nick asked. “Yes.” He exhaled grievously. “Fine. Go ahead and burst my bubble.”

“Math is fun?” Nick gave me a look like I suddenly couldn’t be trusted. “You’re like Kai. Super hot and broody, but secretly a nerd who nerds.”

What? You don’t think strippers can be smart? Knox’s girlfriend is a stripper and she’s almost done med school. Is that enough of a doctor for you?” “I wasn’t implying anything,” I said quickly. “You might want to look down and check to see if your pants are on fire.” I screwed up my face. “Because you’re a liar liar.” He smiled sweetly. Vlado covered his laugh with a cough.

“I kept zoning out and daydreaming while you guys blathered on about money shit. Like, interest rates. Whoever named those was dead wrong. There’s nothing interesting about them. I was worried people noticed I was in la-la land.”

“You’re attracted to me?” This time I rolled my eyes. “Are you fishing for compliments?” “Duh.” He put his folded hands under his chin and batted his eyelashes. “I’m a needy bitch. Now validate me.” “I’m attracted to you,” I deadpanned.

How many times do you think that porn scene has happened?” “Huh?” “You know, the pizza-guy one. Do you think that’s ever actually happened IRL? Like someone is all ‘I don’t have the cash to pay for this pizza’”—I pitched my voice to imitate an over-the-top porn actor—“and the guy is all ‘I know a way you can pay for it’”—this time I lowered my voice and tried to add a little growl to it—“and they fuck?”

I grimaced. “If you could not talk about my future brother-in-law’s dick size, especially in relation to my best friend’s dick, that would be great.”

“I’m in a mood. And I have no idea where we’re going or what we’re doing. I figure I’d better lean into it now so I don’t scandalize your beige friends with my sassiness.”

“I thought we’d go shopping.” “Shopping?” He whirled toward me, his expression hopeful and guarded in equal measure. “Like what kind of shopping?” “Like the kind where you buy stuff.” “Har har har.” He fake-laughed and rolled his eyes. “You’re soooo funny.”

“I’m taking you shopping so you can pick out what you’d like to have available while you’re staying at my house.” “You really need to stop talking like you memorized a thesaurus.” He flicked my thigh. “Everyone in here knows you’re smart. You don’t have to keep trying to prove it with your big words and fancy sentences.”

“Having a bit of a sexual crisis?” I chuckled at his gobsmacked expression. He scrubbed a hand through his dark hair. “Little bit. I never realized the stuff I like on women could look that good on a man. Or at least on a man who looks like him.” Vlado’s type was goth girls and metalheads and had been since we were teenagers. The aesthetic had never really appealed to me in the past, but I was a fan of Nick’s version.

Nick had the uncanny ability to walk the line between masculine and feminine without shifting into androgynous.

“You make it sound like he’s being mauled by an angry cat.” Nick snickered. “I’m so calling Alex an angry cat next time I see him. But when I said kinky, I meant kinky. They’re into primal play, so they literally maul each other as they’re fucking.”

But anyways, you were listing your kinks? Tell me more, for science.”

I waved my hand around. “Do you think people stay here to cosplay royalty and live out their princess fantasies?” Vlado choked out a laugh.

“Holy baby bunnies,” I exclaimed as Evan led me through a doorway at the back of the lobby. “How is the hallway even fancier than the goldsplosion of a lobby?”

It was stupid to be jealous. Even if Evan weren’t gay, he was a young, wealthy, and gorgeous man who oozed confidence and was a whole-ass adult who adulted.

“Was that really necessary?” “Um, yeah. Isn’t that Bryant’s ex trophy wife? She was looking at you like you’re the last Birkin bag at the Hermes outlet. And you know what I say to that? I say not today, Satan.”

“I’m just saying,” I continued. Please don’t let my face be as red as it feels. “She’d better stick to wrinkly old balls and stay away from yours while I’m around.” Evan’s eyes glittered with humor. “She was being polite.” “She was being a twatwaffle.” “He’s not wrong, Ev.” “Maryse is harmless.” “Maybe to you, but bitch better check herself while I’m around because these hands are rated E for Everyone.”

Vlado clapped me on the shoulder. “Never change, Nicky. Never change,” he managed through peals of laughter. “And mess with perfection?” I asked haughtily. “Not a chance.”

If Grant had an issue with me not being manly enough for his son, then I was going to lean into it and be the most extra bitch I could get away with. I didn’t have to get Grant to like me if Adelaide and Emily were team Nick.

“Well well well.” Lemon face came up beside Emily and put his hand on the small of her back. The move was polite and familiar, but it irked me. It looked possessive, but not in the ‘you’re mine and I claim you’ way. It screamed ‘this is my shiny toy, look at it and admire me for having it.’

I looked around the ballroom. “Oh my fucking god.” I slapped my hand over my mouth in glee. “What?” Both Vlado and Evan followed my stare. “Your mom mentioned that Cecelia was here, and I thought yay, drama that doesn’t involve me. But look at her dress, then look at Maryse’s.” “Holy shit.” Vlado chuckled. “Now this is what I call entertainment.” “Right?”

“I need to speak to Arnold.” “The cockblocker?” Vlado snorted. Evan kissed my cheek and grinned. “I won’t be long. He’s been avoiding my calls, and I can’t figure out why.” “So weird.” I giggled.

“I may have answered the phone and pretended like I had Evan tied up and gagged so he couldn’t answer. Worked like a charm.”

“You need to take a step back,” Vlado said, his voice eerily calm and cold. “Why?” The guy waved his hands erratically. “Am I wrong?” “So wrong,” I started. “So you’re not a hooker?” he demanded loudly. Several heads whirled in our direction. “Why do drunk people lose their volume control before their ability to say stupid shit?” I muttered.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait until we get home to have your fun. Let’s go, Vlado. Final destination: Poundtown. Population: us.” Evan laughed and held me tighter as Vlado muttered something about partitions and Tootsie Pops.

“Are you sure? I’ve been holding back for a reason—” “Blah blah blah.” He bumped his hips up and ground his cock against mine. “You’re doing an awful lot of talking for someone who’s supposed to be giving me the dicking of a lifetime.”

“Come on, Ev.” He scratched his nails down my back hard enough to sting. “Don’t you want to stick your big dick in my tight little hole and rail me until I scream?”

“The twins aren’t those things?” “Think Jekyll and Hyde, only make them murder kittens.” “Murder kittens?” Vlado glanced at the twins, who were walking toward the car completely in sync and looking intimidating as fuck. “Yeah. Like they’re all scary and murdery if you piss them off or mess with someone they care about, but they’re actually big softies at heart.

“Speaking of labradoodles.” Kai grinned at me. “You look like a puppy who’s just been given a stack of his favorite biscuits.” “Don’t be hating my golden retriever energy just ’cause you’re a German shepherd.”

“Look at you being all badass.” Nick smiled, some of his usual brightness back. “I’m guessing you found something while you were playing spy?” “We did. Evidence that he’s behind the threats, and evidence of some disturbing things he’s been doing behind the scenes of my father’s company.” “Disturbing like he’s a secret furry with a scat fetish, or disturbing like illegal?”