Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

by Sheryl Sandberg

men must be more empowered at home. I have seen so many women inadvertently discourage their husbands from doing their share by being too controlling or critical. Social scientists call this “maternal gatekeeping,” which is a fancy term for “Ohmigod, that’s not the way you do it! Just move aside and let me!”10 When it comes to children, fathers often take their cues from mothers. This gives a mother great power to encourage or impede the father’s involvement. If she acts as a gatekeeper mother and is reluctant to hand over responsibility, or worse, questions the father’s efforts, he does less.

Over time, if he does things his way, he’ll find the correct end. But if he’s forced to do things her way, pretty soon she’ll be doing them herself.

As more women lean in to their careers, more men need to lean in to their families. We need to encourage men to be more ambitious in their homes.

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”