Gone Whalin'

by Conor Lastowka

He would have to rise with the chickens, go to bed with the alcoholics, and think with the mental dexterity of some sort of alcoholic superchicken.

The nice thing about a shillelagh,” he said, twirling his shillelagh, “is that you can beat religious people with it.”

mind that,” said Captain Anson. “What are you two doing?”

the student at the front of the line really seemed to need the money. He was wearing a “Buffalo Bills Super Bowl Champion” t-shirt that the dean was pretty sure you could only get if you lived in some third-world country where they sent all the losing team’s Super Bowl shirts to.