Fracture Me (Shatter Me, #2.5)

by Tahereh Mafi

But even after all this, I still want a future with her. I want to know that one day we’ll be able to settle somewhere safe and be together in peace. I’m not ready to give up on that dream yet. I’m not ready to give up on us.

“Today is our day to die, ladies.”

She’s not a soldier; she doesn’t know how to fight; and she has no idea how to use her powers, not really, which makes things even worse. It’s basically like giving a toddler a stick of dynamite and telling him to walk into a fire.

A weak link can bring everything down with it, and I don’t think this is the time to be taking chances.

I might walk onto that battlefield with a beating heart and be dragged off with a dead one.

I’m one part furious and one part terrified, and the two are having a battle of their own in my mind.

Kenji grins. “Okay then. Let’s go get our girl back.” “My girl,” I correct him. “She’s my girl.” Kenji snorts as we head in the direction of the compounds. “Right. Minus the part where she’s not actually your girl. Not anymore.” “Shut up.”

The tension is so thick it’s practically its own person, taking up a seat we don’t have to spare. I can barely think straight. I’m trying to breathe, trying to stay calm, and I can’t. The planes are already overhead, and I feel sick in a way I don’t know how to explain. It’s deeper than my stomach. Bigger than my heart. More overwhelming than just my mind. It’s like fear has become me; it wears my body like an old suit.

James must’ve been terrified. He must’ve been scared out of his mind and still, he snuck out of Omega Point because he wanted to help. Because he wanted to fight alongside us. I could kill him for it. But damn if he’s not one of the bravest people I’ve ever known.

James gives my life purpose. And I didn’t realize this until last night. What The Reestablishment does—separating parents from their children, separating spouses from each other, basically ripping families apart—they do it on purpose. And the cruelty of these actions hadn’t really hit me until now. I don’t think I could ever be a part of something like that again.

Aren’t you in love with this girl? Where’s the fire under your ass? I thought you would be dying to get to her right now—”

But I know I have a responsibility to Juliette. What would she do if I weren’t there to help her? She needs me.

I love Juliette. I really do. I want to help her and support her and be there for her. I want us to have a future together. But sometimes I wonder if it’s ever going to happen. This isn’t easy to admit, but part of me doesn’t want to put James at risk again—on the run again—for a girl who broke up with me. A girl who walked away from us. I don’t know what the right thing is anymore. I don’t know if my allegiance is to James or Juliette.