Fracture Me (Shatter Me, #2.5)

by Tahereh Mafi

maybe it’s the lack of Kenji—but things feel different between us lately.

it's the lack of Kenji. kills the vibe.

It’s like sometimes she just disappears, retreats into a corner of her brain and stays there awhile, thinking about something she’ll never talk about.

Juliette blinks a few times, her face breaking into a wide smile the moment she notices him. It changes her, those smiles. And those are the moments that kill me a little.

“Let’s go let’s go let’s go!” Kenji interrupts us. “Today is our day to die, ladies.”

No one speaks, but we already know the rules: we fight to protect the innocent, and we fight to survive. That’s it.

A weak link can bring everything down with it, and I don’t think this is the time to be taking chances. But Kenji, as usual, doesn’t seem to agree.

Kenji is making miracles happen today. He’s invisible now, and working fast. He’s staying sharp despite being injured, and he’s just a part of the wind, taking out three soldiers in one go.

I mean he is making miracles. gush!

Ripped couches and broken lamps, clothes and shoes and fallen bodies to step over. The compounds feel like they could stretch on forever, and the farther we go, the uglier it gets.

might walk onto that battlefield with a beating heart and be dragged off with a dead one.

And I don’t know about the rest of us, but I’m doing my best to fight the urge to turn around and run back to where we started.

This is even worse than I was expecting. There are fallen bodies everywhere, collapsed

I’m one part furious and one part terrified, and the two are having a battle of their own in my mind.

Juliette is gone. My chest cracks open.

Kenji has a firm hand on my shoulder and I realize I’m saying “Oh God, oh God” over and over again when Kenji has the decency to shake some sense into me.

Kenji is the only one who has some sense to shake .

I’m going to enjoy killing him. Slowly. Carefully. Cutting him to pieces one finger at a time.

“I can’t project, bro. My energy is shot.” He sighs. “I’m sorry. My body is seriously jacked up right now.”

put this on my office door

“Yeah, I vote for the plan that doesn’t get me killed instantly.”

Kenji grins. “Okay then. Let’s go get our girl back.” “My girl,” I correct him. “She’s my girl.”

The tension is so thick it’s practically its own person, taking up a seat we don’t have to spare. I can barely think straight. I’m trying to breathe, trying to stay calm, and I can’t. The planes are already overhead, and I feel sick in a way I don’t know how to explain. It’s deeper than my stomach. Bigger than my heart. More overwhelming than just my mind. It’s like fear has become me; it wears my body like an old suit.

I could kill him for it. But damn if he’s not one of the bravest people I’ve ever known.

Kenji is the only one who’s still trying to keep us alive. He’s the only one with any sense of self-preservation left,

I'm telling you Kenji has always been the only one all along.

Because no one is leading us anymore, and someone has to step up. But even with Kenji doing his best to keep us focused, few of us are responding.

The day has come to a close much more quickly than we could’ve expected, and the sun is setting fast, ...

“Good morning, sunshine.” Kenji blinks in our direction. “Morning,” I say back. “I wasn’t talking to you,” he says, trying to smile. “I was talking to the sunshine.”

This is the kenji-core i was looking for

Kenji doesn’t waste any time.

like the fact this is a line actually makes me chuckle

The elephant in the room has made an appearance, and now no one knows what to say.

And then Kenji showed up and redirected the course of everything.

...made it 100% better

Kenji stares at me, confused. “What do you mean? We have to get her out of there. Which means we have to break her out of there, which means we’ve got to plan another rescue mission.” He shoots me a look. “I thought that was obvious.”

Aren’t you in love with this girl? Where’s the fire under your ass? I thought you would be dying to get to her right now—”

But I know I have a responsibility to Juliette. What would she do if I weren’t there to help her? She needs me.

love Juliette. I really do. I want to help her and support her and be there for her. I want us to have a future together. But sometimes I wonder if it’s ever going to happen.

This isn’t easy to admit, but part of me doesn’t want to put James at risk again—on the run again—for a girl who broke up with me. A girl who walked away from us. I don’t know what the right thing is anymore. I don’t know if my allegiance is to James or Juliette.

“We should’ve gone after her,” Kenji is saying. “I should’ve stayed behind—I should’ve tried to find her—it’s my fault,” he says, hands in his hair, fighting back tears. “It’s my fault she’s dead. I should’ve gone after her—”

Dont blame yourself Kenj