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May 22, 2019 - March 9, 2021
ADD is more impairing than any syndrome in all mental health that is treated on an outpatient basis.
If you have ADD, you are 40 percent more likely to get divorced than if you don’t, and 30 percent more likely to be unemployed.
it’s sort of like being nearsighted. You don’t focus very well. You have to strain to see clearly.
Due to repeated failures, misunderstandings, mislabelings, and all manner of other emotional mishaps, children with ADD usually develop problems with their self-image and self-esteem.
ADD can interfere with one’s interpersonal life just as dramatically as it does with one’s academic or job performance.
As a child, her symptoms were typical: hyperactivity, thrill-seeking, trouble in school, emotional intensity, and impulsivity. She also had many of the positive qualities that are often not mentioned when one hears about ADD: spunk, resilience, persistence, charm, creativity, and hidden intellectual talent.
“It’s as if a veil has been lifted from Penny’s eyes. She can see us and we can see her. She’s still my dreamer, but now it’s on purpose that she dreams.”
Primary symptoms are the symptoms of the syndrome itself: distractibility, impulsivity, restlessness, and so forth. The secondary symptoms, and the ones that are most difficult to treat, are the symptoms that develop in the wake of the primary syndrome not being recognized: low self-esteem, depression, boredom and frustration with school, fear of learning new things, impaired peer relations, sometimes drug or alcohol abuse, stealing, or even violent behavior due to mounting frustration.
People with ADD often do not pick up on the subtle social cues and messages that are crucial in getting along with others. They may appear to be blasé or indifferent or self-centered or even hostile when they are simply confused or unaware of what is going on around them.
The themes of ADD run throughout: inconsistency, and inconsistency again, creativity, provocative behavior, winning personality, varying motivation, exasperating forgetfulness, disorganization and indifference, underachievement, impulsivity, and the search for excitement rather than discipline.
the adult with ADD gets carried away in enthusiasm. An idea comes and it must be spoken—tact or guile yielding to childlike exuberance.
Easy distractibility, trouble focusing attention, tendency to tune out or drift away in the middle of a page or a conversation, often coupled with an ability to hyperfocus at times.
Adults with ADD often have unusually creative minds. In the midst of their disorganization and distractibility, they show flashes of brilliance.
10. Trouble in going through established channels, following “proper” procedure. Contrary to what one might think, this is not due to some unresolved problem with authority figures. Rather, it is a manifestation of boredom and frustration: boredom with routine ways of doing things and excitement around novel approaches, and frustration with being unable to do things the way they’re “supposed” to be done.
19. Inaccurate self-observation. People with ADD are poor self-observers. They do not accurately gauge the impact they have on other people. They usually see themselves as less effective or powerful than other people do.
Many adults with ADD report that their best thinking is done while driving. And people with ADD love big cities, all big cities but particularly New York, Las Vegas, and, especially, Los Angeles.
These are a few of the areas in which mild ADD may interfere with an adult’s life: underachievement; reading one’s interpersonal world accurately; getting started on a creative project, or finishing it; staying with emotions long enough to work them out; getting organized; getting rid of perseverative, negative thinking; slowing down; finding the time to do what one has always wanted to do; or getting a handle on certain compulsive types of behavior.
He used intense living and alcohol to treat depressive moods, and he used structure to relieve anxiety.
While we all need external structure in our lives—some degree of predictability, routine, organization—those with ADD need it much more than most people. They need external structure so much because they so lack internal structure. They carry with them a frightening sense that their world might cave in at any moment. They often feel on the brink of disaster, as if they were juggling a few more balls than they’re able to. Their inner world begs for reassurance, for signposts and guidelines.
The first item on the list referred to a cough drop. As I read it, I asked her about it. “Oh,” she answered, “that is about a cough drop someone left on the dashboard of our car. The other day I saw the cough drop and thought, I’ll have to throw that away. When I arrived at my first stop, I forgot to take the cough drop to a trash can. When I got back into the car, I saw it and thought, I’ll throw it away at the gas station. The gas station came and went and I hadn’t thrown the cough drop away. Well, the whole day went like that, the cough drop still sitting on the dashboard. When I got home,
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time it took me to open the car door, I forgot about the cough drop. It was there to greet me when I got in the car the next morning. Jeff was with me. I looked at the cough drop and burst into tears. Jeff asked me why I was crying, and I told him it was because of the cough drop. He thought I was losing my mind. ‘But you don’t understand,’ I said, ‘my whole life is like that. I see something that I mean to do and then I don’t do it. It’s not only trivial things like the cough drop; it’s big things, too.’ That’s why I cried.”
“cough drop sign”
distractibility. But more difficult than that, they struggle with the secondary symptoms that years of living with undiagnosed ADD created. These are symptoms such as impaired self-image, low self-esteem, depression, fearfulness of others, mistrust of self, skittishness in relationships, and
Hours can pass in this unfocused state. Lots of interesting thoughts pass by, I can be engaged in lots of creative enterprises, but relatively little gets done. I can combat it consciously
It is heartening how valiantly people with undiagnosed ADD try in the face of their despair. They don’t give up. They keep pushing. Even when they’ve been knocked down many times before, they stand up to get knocked down again. It is hard to keep them down for good. They tend not to feel sorry for themselves. Rather, they tend to get mad, to get up, to have at it again. In this sense one might say they are stubborn: they just don’t give up. But they may remain depressed.
affective spectrum disorder. (It also includes bulimia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, cataplexy, migraine, panic disorder, and irritable-bowel syndrome.) The
I don’t think I’ve ever really been happy. For as long as I can remember, there’s always been a sadness tugging at me.
“life is a process not from pleasure to pleasure, but from hope to hope.”
it is simply a part of you. So it is with many of our feelings. Until we name them, they are entwined in our sense of self. Naming the feelings gives us some leverage over them. Being able to say “I am sad” can make the sadness less disabling. Once we recognize a feeling, we can attempt to control or change it.
Most people feel a rush of unfocused energy when they take cocaine. However, people with ADD feel focused when they use cocaine, just as they do when they take Ritalin. Rather than getting high, they suddenly feel clearheaded and able to pay attention. When those who don’t know they have ADD stumble upon cocaine, the drug seems like a cure in that it temporarily alleviates their ADD symptoms, and so they become chronic users.
By treating the ADD one reduces the likelihood that the individual will go back to abusing the original drug.
When it comes to paperwork, use the principle of O.H.I.O: Only Handle It Once. When you receive a document or a memo or any kind of written material, try to only handle it once. Either
Do what you’re good at. Again, if it seems easy, that is OK. There is no rule that says you can only do what you’re bad
