How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

by Scott Adams

Passion Is Bullshit

You already know that when your energy is right you perform better at everything you do, including school, work, sports, and even your personal life. Energy is good. Passion is bullshit.

this: If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has extraordinary power.

For starters, when it comes to the topic of generosity, there are three kinds of people in the world: Selfish Stupid Burden on others

The most important form of selfishness involves spending time on your fitness, eating right, pursuing your career, and still spending quality time with your family and friends.

The way I approach the problem of multiple priorities is by focusing on just one main metric: my energy. I make choices that maximize my personal energy because that makes it easier to manage all of the other priorities.

Asshole behaviors: Changing the subject to him/herself Dominating conversation Bragging Cheating, lying Disagreeing with any suggestion, no matter how trivial Using honesty as a justification for cruelty Withholding simple favors out of some warped sense of social justice Abandoning the rules of civil behavior, such as saying hello or making eye contact

Priorities are the things you need to get right so the things you love can thrive.

A great strategy for success in life is to become good at something, anything, and let that feeling propel you to new and better victories. Success can be habit-forming.

Good + Good > Excellent

I made a list of the skills in which I think every adult should gain a working knowledge. I wouldn’t expect you to become a master of any, but mastery isn’t necessary. Luck has a good chance of finding you if you become merely good in most of these areas. I’ll make a case for each one, but here’s the preview list. Public speaking Psychology Business writing Accounting Design (the basics) Conversation Overcoming shyness Second language Golf Proper grammar Persuasion Technology (hobby level) Proper voice technique

Quality is not an independent force in the universe; it depends on what you choose as your frame of reference.

Below is Wikipedia’s list of cognitive biases.1 It looks like a lot to know, but you have your entire life to acquire the knowledge. Think of it as a system in which you learn a bit every year. That will be easier if you understand how important psychology is to everything you want to accomplish in life. On a scale of one to ten, the importance of understanding psychology is a solid ten.

There are probably a dozen or more reasons to have a conversation, depending on how you slice it. You might start a conversation to . . . Exchange information Plan Complain Entertain Feel connected Befriend Seduce Persuade Be polite Avoid awkward silence Brag

A bad conversationalist will focus on the impoverished part of the list, doing a lot of bragging, complaining, and exchanging of information. It’s fair to say that such a person doesn’t understand what conversation is or how to do it.

I’ll paraphrase the Dale Carnegie question stack as best I remember it. It goes something like this: What’s your name? Where do you live? Do you have a family? What do you do for a living? Do you have any hobbies/sports? Do you have any travel plans?

Here’s a summary of good conversation technique. Ask questions. Don’t complain (much). Don’t talk about boring experiences (TV show, meal, dream, etc.). Don’t dominate the conversation. Let others talk. Don’t get stuck on a topic. Keep moving. Planning is useful but it isn’t conversation. Keep the sad stories short, especially medical stories.

The point of conversation is to make the other person feel good.

Persuasive Words and Phrases Because Would you mind . . . ? I’m not interested. I don’t do that. I have a rule . . . I just wanted to clarify . . . Is there anything you can do for me? Thank you This is just between you and me.

Stephen Covey was probably the most famous of the success-by-pattern gurus. His book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People sold more than twenty-five million copies. I think Covey described a good set of patterns for people to follow, but they are only a start. I’ll summarize his seven habits and suggest you read his books if you want more. Be proactive. Begin with the end in mind. (Imagine a good outcome.) Put first things first. (Set priorities.) Think win-win. (Don’t be greedy.) Seek first to understand then be understood. Synergize. (Use teamwork.) Sharpen the saw. (Keep learning.)

Here’s my own list of the important patterns for success that I’ve noticed over the years. This is purely anecdotal. I exclude the ones that are 100 percent genetic. Lack of fear of embarrassment Education (the right kind) Exercise

Overcomplaining is never funny. Don’t overdo the self-deprecation. Don’t mock people. Avoid puns and wordplay.

Affirmations are simply the practice of repeating to yourself what you want to achieve while imagining the outcome you want.

write it, speak it, or just think it in sentence form.

Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule.

Happiness is the natural state for most people whenever they feel healthy, have flexible schedules, and expect the future to be good.

I’m here to tell you that the primary culprit in your bad moods is a deficit in one of the big five: flexible schedule, imagination, sleep, diet, and exercise.

Recapping the happiness formula: Eat right. Exercise. Get enough sleep. Imagine an incredible future (even if you don’t believe it). Work toward a flexible schedule. Do things you can steadily improve at. Help others (if you’ve already helped yourself). Reduce daily decisions to routine.

If you do those eight things, the rest of what you need to stimulate the chemistry of happiness in your brain will be a lot easier to find.

Changing your food preferences is a fairly straightforward process, and it starts the way all change starts: by looking at things differently.

If the idea of reprogramming your mind sounds like L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics and the process of “auditing,” which is at the core of Scientology, that’s about half right. The part that’s right is that Dianetics also attempts to change behavior by changing the way you look at yourself and what makes you do what you do. Interestingly, as I pointed out earlier in this book, you can get good results by doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. For example, if you believe alcohol is the devil’s urine, it might eliminate your risk of drinking and driving. You can often get good results from inaccurate worldviews. Some famous philosophers, some scientists, and at least one cartoonist would speculate that inaccurate worldviews are the only kind there is. Does Dianetics work in terms of creating good outcomes for its followers? I have no data to answer that question. But I wouldn’t be surprised if auditing does work for some people. Based on my experience, I think you could replace the auditing process in Scientology with a Ouija board and still have good outcomes for some people.

but a more useful way to look at the connection between food and exercise is not that they are equal partners. A more practical view is that food is the fuel that makes exercise possible. When you eat simple carbs for lunch, you find yourself wanting a nap more than you want to spend an hour on the treadmill. If you stuff yourself for dinner, you might cancel your plans to go for a run. If you manage your diet right, you’ll want to exercise more, and that will translate into doing so.

The willpower you need to resist simple carbs such as white potatoes, white bread, and white rice has to come from somewhere, and as I mentioned earlier, studies show that using willpower for anything reduces how much you have in reserve for other temptations.

In the process of failing at the fortified-burrito business, I learned most of what you’ll read in this chapter. That’s what I call failing forward. Any time you learn something useful, you come out ahead. In this case, my focus on a healthy diet probably increased my life span.

diet. I can eat as much as I want of the foods on this list, which I quite enjoy, and I won’t gain a pound as long as I stay active. Bananas Protein bars Peanuts Mixed nuts Cheese Whole wheat pasta Edamame (soybeans) Broccoli Cauliflower Brussels sprouts Fish Lettuce Tomatoes Apples Pears Carrots Radishes Cucumbers Quinoa Brown rice Berries

most of the foods I keep at home are convenient.

My usual takeout food options are . . . Takeout Subway veggie sandwiches Veggie pizza Chinese food Indian food

Vegetarian Flavors Soy sauce Cilantro Lemon Salt Pepper Butter (or butter substitute) Garlic Onion Curry Cheese Tomato sauce Salsa Vegetable broth Honey Salad dressings Balsamic vinegar Black-bean sauce Hot sauce

You’ll