Karma is a Witch (Deadlights Cove, #5)

by B. Perkins

For our Covies: You know who you are.

Imma covie!

No one knew the extent of her powers yet, but Blaze had fallen to his knees in a weeping pile of emotion as he clung to her, laughing uncontrollably when she accidentally set fire to his shirt.

I love that chaotic ass man

Physically uncomfortable, I rested a hand on her back, giving her a soft pat pat

Sorrows. Sorrows. Prayers

Like a Saint Bernard puppy on cocaine, whose tail would randomly burst into flames and who would suddenly disappear and then reappear stuck in a cabinet or on the roof or upside down in a tree.

Im picturing Jack Jack from the incredibles

How old either sibling truly was was a mystery unto itself — though I knew for a fact Mo’s rap sheet went back at least as far as the 1850s.

I love her so much

Windows stretched from floor to ceiling facing the water — the best view in the house — and my baby grand piano sat directly in front of

Are we going to get a pretty woman piano scene???

I led them to the basement, which I planned to turn into a home gym, and spun to face them.

DUNGEON DUNGEON DUNGEON

And the way he’d been rolling up his sleeves lately was obscene.

Obscene ?? Interesting Word choice dev

“Deadlights Cove is my home,”

Same, dev. Same

Devanna turned back to me, then leaned forward, eyes focused heavily on my biceps. “Is that—” “Tattoos, yes,” I said, barely fighting the urge to tug the sleeve further down my arm to hide the ink there.

SCREAMING

“Eyes on me, hellcat.”

LORD

“Stop talking, you’re ruining it.” “I’m ruining it? The sound of your voice makes me want to cut my ears off,” I growled, biting her ear as I said it, wrapping my hand around her mouth.

Ive died and gone to smut heaven

More specifically, my chest covered in ink, usually well-hidden under my button-downs, as tattoos weren’t exactly Council approved for angels.

straight up biting my knuckles

“Chill out.” Devanna stooped to the floor on her side of the bed and threw me a black shirt.

Its going to be a witch shirt...

“Begrudgingly befriending you has been the best decision I’ve ever made. No matter how this ends, it has been an honor being your friend and roommate. Thank you for everything. For making me feel alive.”

All the tears

“He went to Headquarters in shorts. I need to find a way to be arrested too so I can witness him over there in that t-shirt.”

LOL

“And since neither of you are witches — which, by the way, your files are pointedly blank where your species should be listed, another thing I have every intent to remedy — who exactly is spelling these donuts for you?”

I knew theyd never been identified

The beauty of Earth was in the imperfect, and the more I looked around Headquarters, noticing how every angel looked exactly the same, the more I was sure of it.

Orion belongs on eartg

Blaze was in his best imitation of an 80s exercise video outfit — a bright orange headband and matching leotard that left little to the imagination over black leggings with flames up the sides.

I love him so much

The rest of the day we all behaved, at least, as much as the residents of Deadlights Cove knew how to.

“And you all said it was silly of me to buy the cotton candy machine when I could rent one,” Blaze snickered, whipping up a whole tray of cotton candy sticks. “I knew it would pay for itself.”

I truly did marry blaze

I pressed my lips together as everyone took a side, arguing the pros and cons of Jar Jar Binks. In my opinion, there were no pros.

Ok sydney

This town — these people — were worth protecting and I’d do anything in my power to keep them safe and happy.

You’re not giving up your dreams for a male, no matter how big his wingspan is.”

Lololol

“No more apologizing for stupid shit. Do men walk around apologizing for being too loud or interrupting women? No. They just bulldoze over us, expecting us to make ourselves smaller to appease their tiny little… egos. Take up space. Be passionate. Be loud.”

“Don’t ever tell Kit I said this,” Nimue started, her black eyes looking up at me with a hesitant smile, “because I love him dearly and he is my mate, my husband, my everything. But he’s not my soulmate. You stole that title long before he ever could.”

They couldn’t break me like this. I’d lived in Deadlights Cove for almost 30 years. I’d witnessed goats destroying the gazebo, elderly nudity far more often than any one person should be subject to — I’d lived with Sabazios fucking Rosewood. I could survive this, too.

You tell em o

His bright green eyes maybe had a slightly more feral gleam than usual, actually, but knowing about Selene’s condition, I didn’t blame him.

Dev would call pregnancy a condition lolol

“Divide and conquer,” I said with a nod. “You work on Demon Daddy Defenses and I’ll get the prickly sonofabitch back for us.”

There was this one angel, but nobody talks about him, ever.

Lucifer, satanus, asmodius

“Bossy,” he muttered, but gave in, allowing me to steer us across the street and down my front path. “Men always pronounce assertive wrong when they’re talking about women.”

Next thing I knew, I was being gently escorted, and sometimes held up on either side, by two flying vampires back towards the Cottage. What in the actual fuck was my life.

I love deranged o

“You are so easy to love, Devanna, just as you are. Your intelligence. Your honesty. Your bravery. Your undying devotion to those you give your heart to. You’re extraordinary in every possible way, shining so bright even when you try to hide yourself away.”

Moooooo

“You’re both the most loyal people I know. If anyone deserves happiness, it’s you two. It makes me happy to think of you with someone who won’t put up with your shit. You need her as much as she needs you.”

“Boys.” Mo shook her head where she sat at the kitchen table behind us. “Really. You’d think with two heads you’d be the smarter sex, but that’s far from the truth. The only thing you’re good for is a good deep d—”

She is my hero

“Hilarious. Now, spill it. I figured once you two had scratched the itch, buttered each other’s biscuits, did some squats in the cucumber patch, rode the bony express, that’d be it. One and done, so to speak. But this doesn’t feel like…”

You can tell mo raised him

“Quick, Dev, say something bitchy.” “Okay, when you drive your Mustang without Petra, you look just like any other middle-aged dude having a life crisis.”

LOL

“If you’re going to use all that naked skin to distract me, two can play that game. Also, why am I not surprised that with all of the ink painting your chest and back, all of it is black and white? A compass, a skull, a lighthouse… as unoriginal as your J. Crew wardrobe.”

Blaze squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose in a gesture I’d only ever seen him make when he dressed as me for Halloween, but somehow, I didn’t think whatever he was about to say was another one of his practical jokes. “Eva Watford streaked through town earlier, tits bouncing as she sprinted into the ocean. I suddenly understand the term ‘knockers’ because those things were swinging harder than Rocky Balboa. The fact that she didn’t take herself out is a miracle. If ever you needed confirmation that a horde is gathering, that should be it. Until now, I didn’t think that woman had an impulsive bone in her body.”

AIMEE. B. HOW DARE YOU

A high-pitched giggle emitted from my best friend moments before he leaned over and grabbed my face, pulling me towards him as he laid a wet kiss on my cheek. “Sorry. Blame the horde — I couldn’t help myself. Petty Orion is my favorite Orion.”

In the setting sun, the black church with the warm lights was a bit like the woman who called it home. Hard, foreboding exterior hiding an inside that was so stunning it was hard to look at directly. A study in contrasts, just like she was.

That, and wherever the missing black crystal was that Willa had hidden, if there had ever been one to begin with. Even after days of searching, Lys and I had come up blank.

BECAUSE ITS IN THE PAINTING DEV