Promise Me (RLU #1)

by Carlie Jean

I’m the star of the volleyball team. Call me vain, but it’s true. I’m damn good at what I do. It’s my goal to make it to the Olympic team once I graduate this year,

I was supposed to be doing nothing other than work toward my goal, but in doing so, my tunnel vision caused me to forget the other aspect of being an athlete. The student part.

something weird happens. I’ve found guys attractive, but there’s something about him that’s different, something more than the fact that I want to climb him like a tree. I feel a warmth spread throughout my body, fuzzy and sweet.

He kind of intimidates me because I equally want to ride him, while also flipping him the bird.

It’s one of my two most important rules. Number one—never fight or drink. Number two—stay focused on school and graduate with no distractions.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned since my mom passed, it’s to make time for those who matter as much as possible. Because you never know when you won’t be able to.

“Oh man, Cameron is in trouble. I can’t wait to watch him fall,” he muses as he shoves his arms into his jacket. “Fall?” I ask, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Finn’s body retreats. Turning around, his head twists over his shoulder, and he says, “In love with you.”

She’s slowly starting to become a code I want to crack. A series of numbers out of order that I want to put back in their proper place to function again.

Tell me something about you, marvelnerd11?” Lexa will randomly bring up my old email handle in conversation, and every time, it makes me smile, although I try to fight it like I am now.

I feel like an ass for how I acted last week. But I also don’t know if I want to turn it off. I’m afraid of what will happen if I do, and I’m not sure why the fuck she has this effect on me.

“Let me guess, you think I’m entitled, selfish, arrogant, pretentious, and an attention-seeking partier? Does that sound about right?” My face remains passive while my stomach flips because that’s exactly what I thought.

You know when you hear an old favorite song and it fills you with a warm, happy feeling at the familiar tune? Yeah, that’s what listening to her laugh did to me, and despite it being new, it feels like my heart knows its tune already. I’m in trouble.

He’s the first guy I’ve ever drawn.

Why the hell do I care if he watches my games or not? He just started to be nice this week, and while I may think about riding him a few times a day, there’s no reason I should feel the way I do about him not being here.

I’ve never had a plan B, C, or D. I’ve only ever had a plan A, and that’s to make it into Team USA and go to the Olympics

I often find myself lowering my head to my laptop screen to avoid letting her see that she’s putting a dent in my walls. I don’t think she’s even trying, and that scares me.

“Forgiveness is hard, but you know what else is?” “What?” I ask, my voice rawer than I’d like. “Believing that we have control over everything in our lives.”

We should probably head out soon, but I find myself wanting to extend my time with her. The two of us feel different here, surrounded by nature and away from the noise of our lives.

I want to take care of Aurora Vallacourt, and once I start, there’s no stopping.

“I’m not putting your life in the hands of a stranger, no thank you. Just get in my car, please?”

I shut his door and book it inside, needing to get away from my tutor/friend, who I feel could very well be more, which is my worst fear. Because I can’t have him. No matter how much I may want to.

Part of me wanted to stay there and make sure she was okay, but I didn’t want to seem overbearing. Aurora doesn’t know my protective side like Finn and Lexa do.

No, no, no. This is not good. He can’t do this to my poor, secretly hopeless romantic heart. This man. This sweet, kind, caring man. He remembered my favorite food combination and got me a heated stuffed cupcake, which I told him is what my dad calls me.

“It’s a notebook and I draw in it, but that’s all I’m telling you.” His eyes bounce around my face, giving me a slight nod of his chin. “I’d love to look at it one day if you ever become okay with that.” Yeah, I don’t think that day will ever come, but I also never thought I’d be this close to Cameron, so never say never.

Our friendship has become this pure, wholesome thing, reminding me how important it is to keep it that way. No matter how much my heart screams at me to cross that line.

Grief tends to remind us of what we lost, but sometimes a little gratitude helps you to remember what you have and to be thankful for it right now.

I clearly didn’t think this through because seeing her in my hoodie does something weird to my heart. It makes it squeeze tightly, warmth seeping out at its pressure.

Little does she know I’ve imagined her as mine more times than I’d like to admit.

Yet, sitting here with Finn and Cameron, I feel full in such a good way. I’ve always enjoyed my small circle of Jasmine, Theo, Pickles, my dad, and Nate, but I think I can add room for these two.

“I’ve learned that you like to take care of people, Cam, and you’re great at it. But, I can also help you, too, you know?”

Ah. There’s that nickname again. While part of it makes me sad at the reminder of who used to call me that, part of it makes me happy. It brings me joy to hear it again. It’s almost like I’m reunited with my mom somehow whenever he says it.

I feel a bit more nervous than usual. Sure, Cameron is just my friend, but I want to impress him. He only knew me as the star of the team before, and I want to show him that there’s a reason for that. I want him to see my potential and believe in my ability to reach my goals more than he already does.

“I wanted to try and take this slow, but I don’t know if I can, love. Not after I’ve got my first taste. I want more.”

“No, because I’ll be the last. You won’t care about anyone before me, just like I don’t.”

I’m proud of you. Not because you kick ass at volleyball, but because you add extra light to this world just being who you are.”

Some part of her always moves when I touch her as if she can’t get enough. It makes me feel wanted, something I’ve never felt before.

“I promise you, Rory. I don’t break my promises. We’re going to make ourselves proud and do it together,” I say with utter confidence, knowing she’s exactly where I’m meant to be.