Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success

by Adam M. Grant

“Well, I do care about being a good citizen, and I want to support my candidate.” This doesn’t feel like I’m persuading you. As Aronson explains, you’ve been convinced by someone you already like and trust: Yourself.

“The art of advocacy is to lead you to my conclusion on your terms. I want you to form your own conclusions: you’ll hold on to them more strongly.

New research shows that advice seeking is a surprisingly effective strategy for exercising influence when we lack authority.

When we ask for advice, in order to give us a recommendation, advisers have to look at the problem or dilemma from our point of view.

When we give our time, energy, knowledge, or resources to help others, we strive to maintain a belief that they’re worthy and deserving of our help. Seeking advice is a subtle way to invite someone to make a commitment to us.