Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success

by Adam M. Grant

With the Air Force colonels, though, I was worried about credibility, and I only had four hours—instead of my usual four months—to establish it. Deviating from my typical vulnerable style, I adopted a dominant tone in describing my qualifications. But the more I tried to dominate, the more the colonels resisted. I failed to win their respect, and I felt disappointed and embarrassed. I had another session with Air Force colonels coming up on my schedule, so I decided to try a different opening. Instead of talking confidently about my credentials, I opened with a more powerless, self-deprecating remark: “I know what some of you are thinking right now: ‘What can I possibly learn from a professor who’s twelve years old?’” There was a split second of awkward silence, and I held my breath. Then the room erupted with bursts of laughter. A colonel named Hawk piped up: “Come on, that’s way off base. I’m pretty sure you’re thirteen.” From there, I proceeded to deliver a near carbon copy of my first presentation—after all, the information I had to deliver on motivation hadn’t changed. But afterward, when I looked at the feedback, it differed night and day from my previous session: “Spoke with personal experience. He was the right age! High energy; clearly successful already.” “Adam was obviously knowledgeable regarding the topic and this translated into his passion and interest. This allowed him to be very effective. One word—EXCELLENT!” “Although junior in experience, he dealt with ...