Only when, say, a friend points out that you needn’t have apologized to the store clerk for giving you the wrong change do you realize how pervasive this aspect of your personality has become. Let’s say that this triggers one of those moments of enlightenment—an epiphany—and you think, She’s right. Why do I apologize all the time? Why do I take responsibility for everyone else’s missteps? After you reflect on your history of constantly “pleading guilty,” you say to yourself, Today I’m going to stop blaming myself and making excuses for other people’s bad behavior. I’m going to change. Because
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