The Rule Book

by Sarah Adams

“Ben? You dated a guy named Ben? Which was probably short for Benjamin. Are you for real?” He takes an anxious step away and then whirls back quickly. “Shit…he was a good guy, wasn’t he? A doctor? Bens are always doctors or baseball players.”

I know that if this boat were to hit an iceberg and start sinking to the bottom of the ocean like the Titanic, Derek wouldn’t let go of me.

There was more than enough room, Rose!

That towel is barely hanging on and I have an internal cheer section rooting for it to fall.

But the way Derek is looking at me right now makes me feel as if my body is the standard all other bodies should be judged against. Like mine is his ticket to eternal happiness. Like I am a freaking goddess—and I realize no one has ever appreciated my body quite like Derek.

I’m feeling more awkward than the time I ordered at Starbucks and then realized I had a tampon wrapper stuck to the front of my shirt the whole exchange.”

“Because smoothing away any part of your gorgeous body would be a travesty.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, Nora. That was…” “Incredible,” I say, touching his face so he knows I don’t regret it. I don’t regret one second of it.

Because 20/20 crystal-clear lines or not, it’s going to be difficult returning to a normal business relationship after all this.

And it’s her spiciness to me now that lets me know something truly is bothering her. I have no choice but to let it go, so I turn the volume up a few notches.

Give me all those ugly feelings swirling around behind your eyes. They look like they’re on a teacup ride having the time of their life.”

I kiss her. I steal the words right out of her mouth. But then I remember that she has a no-kissing-inside-the-room rule and I pull my mouth away just as quickly. “I’m sorry. You said not to kiss inside and I—” She kisses me.

“You are going to put it on me?” I look around. “Unless one of your inanimate furniture pieces decides to come to life and help, yes.”

“Okay, yep, just do it. But make it quick,” she says while adjusting facedown on the floor. “Funny, that’s opposite of what I’m usually told.” “Ha-ha so funny, Mr. Sexy Funny Guy. You kill me with laughter.”

I’m buying her a rash guard from the gift shop first thing tomorrow morning. I’ll lather her in sunscreen from forehead to toe. Hold an umbrella over her as she walks.

my man better do this

I see the top freckle above the waistband of her shorts that begins my favorite constellation on her ass. We used to joke that stargazing was my favorite hobby.

“You agree, then? We need to go back to the rules?” I angle my face down to look her in the eyes. “Disagree. Strongly, in fact.”

“Because I regret ever letting you go in the first place.” If she looked shocked before, she really does now. “Because I’m not convinced that what we had is really over between us. Because when we kiss, it feels right. Because when you smile at me my world feels whole. And I want to use this week where you’re not my agent and I have no other obstacles in my way…to woo you.”

“Because you’re right about all of it, obviously, and I do still have feelings for Derek—love him, even—and did when I broke up with him too.

“Yes,” I say with one final, definitive Nicole-esque head nod. “Let’s break all the rules, Derek Pender.”

Her smile is too wide and sparkling. I want to hide it so no one else can see it. She’s mine.

“Okay.” I rest my forearms on the table and let my emotions reach my eyes as I stare into hers. “That look was the result of me wanting to rip your clothes off with my teeth and do very dirty things to you right here on this table when you talk like that.” She chokes on the water—because whatever it was she was expecting me to say, it wasn’t that.

It doesn’t matter how this started, it’s real for me.

“Which version of us is going? Agent and client? Husband and wife? Or friends?” Her face blooms. “All of them.”

“You look edible in this pink.” “And you…must be drunk already.” “Not even close.”

“She’s my wife. And if it were up to me, I’d have you bleeding all over this bar right now for laying a single finger on her that she didn’t invite. When I let go of you, you’re going to apologize to her. And then you’re going to leave this bar, and if you ever treat another woman like that again, I will know, and I will hunt you down…and for legal purposes, I’m not going to tell you what I’ll do to you. But I’m sure your imagination can fill in the blanks.”

Look at your ugly-ass shoes while you apologize to her.”

“No, it’s not okay. Not at all, because you, Nora, are beautiful, rare magic and nothing less.” A tear streaks down her face and I kiss it from her skin. “Let’s go.”

He looks at me as if he’s devouring me little by little. God help me, I want him to.

Now, Derek Freaking Pender (that should be his actual middle name but really it’s Felix and he hates it) is standing in front of me in skintight black boxer briefs and I’m about to faint.

I’m at your feet, Nora. If you want me, I’m yours.” There’s no part of me that needs to even pause to consider it. “Yes, Derek, I want—”

The best geometry class of my life.

I’m a warm little caterpillar in a cocoon of comforters. I live in a cloud of delight where no trouble can reach me.

“No—it’s better now. Please say yes. I’d love to be your friend, Nora.” As if there were a chance I’d ever want to say no. I draw a heart on his ribs. “Yes, you can be my friend, Derek Pender. But this breaks rule number three.”

I love Nora. I want to tell her too.

“Marty,” Nicole says as we pass. “Might want to wipe that look off your face and then do the same with the mustard on your shirt.” I almost wish I had been drinking something so I could have done a dramatic spit take. Nicole is my queen.

“Listen to me, I never, ever want to hear you say you don’t deserve any of this again.”

And if you didn’t already love Derek, your college sweetheart, you never would have gone along with the plan.

“You’re a gemstone. Rare and unique and vibrant. And anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve to have you in their life.”

“And maybe we could even…coordinate a calendar schedule.” I moan theatrically. “You’re so dirty.”

“I’ve missed you all these years, Nora. My friend. My love.”

“I’ve missed you too, Derek. All’s well that loves well.”

“Go ahead, little chicken nugget. Taunt me some more.”

Nora Mackenzie Pender. And then there she is, my wife.

My gaze drops to the thick cardboard she holds up for me. PENDER, LET ME SEE THAT TIGHT END. I shake my head. “Is that drawing supposed to be my ass in uniform?”

They each look at me like I’ve just been announced as the newest tribute in the Hunger Games.

I want to shout across the media room that I would never use him. That I love him more than I’ve loved anything or anyone in my life.

“We can continue talking about that joke of an article supplied by some desperate source…or…we can discuss how I’m officially retiring from the NFL.”

WHAT?!

“I’m happy, Ginger Snap. I’m so damn happy. I want this for me. I’m so ready for this change. Ready to see what else I have to offer in this world.”

“I know we’re already married, Nora. But it would mean the entire world to me if you would stay married to me. For real. For always. For eternity. Stay with me. Let me love you fully and desperately forever and ever.”