The Rule Book

by Sarah Adams

Sometimes life is like a box of chocolates, and sometimes life is like a box of chocolates left out in the sun all day.

I get it. (I hate it with all my heart—but I respect it.)

Is that pathetic? Choosing not to answer that question.

When I’m back in the living room, Derek frowns deeply at my face. “Nora, did you sleep at all last night?” I point my airplane pillow at him before I shove it into my backpack. “Good question. The answer is: No. But luckily, I don’t need sleep anymore. Unrelated note, did you know if you drink enough coffee, you can hear the color purple?”

“Now, while I’m cooking, go put some damn pants on. You broke rule number seven.” I grunt a laugh. “I did no—” I look down and somehow gasp and shriek at the same time. “Derek! I’m not wearing pants!” “I noticed,” he grumbles, not looking at me. “I tried to tell you when I walked in, but you were too busy seeing into a different universe with your new caffeine-induced powers.”

Hey, I’m still in love with you and unless you love me back, we can’t do this because it hurts so damn much to be near you and not have you. But then she says, “Is it…do you…do you still hate me?” My heart rips down the middle. Do I hate her? I hate that when your mouth curves into a smile, I can’t kiss it. I hate that you hold my heart in a vise grip and you have no idea. I hate that I’ve never been able to move on from you—not for a single day. I hate that if I were to tell you all of this, you’d leave, and I’d be left vulnerable and bleeding out at the bar.

He slides his arms around me and holds me like my soul has been craving. I melt against him, savoring every inch of our connected bodies. This hug is like coming home from a long trip and finally drinking coffee from your favorite mug. Curling up in that plush blanket you’ve been dreaming about for days.

“Why would you even consider doing that?” His smile curves softly and when he shrugs, the combination is almost sad. “Because it’s for you.”

“Nora. You’re staring at my mouth.” It comes out unplanned and maybe a tad too hopeful. She doesn’t look away. “Because you finally smiled. I don’t want to miss it if it happens again.”

Sometimes I wonder, if I stay quiet, will she continue to talk the whole night? I’d happily let her.

Mmmmm i need a derek id love to yap for hours on end and someone just let me AND LISTEN what store do you find a derek at someone point me in the right direction 😭😣🤭

I am officially done with people today. Except for her.

Nora shakes her head at me while fighting a smile. “For the record, I’d prefer to fight my own battles. But also—” she looks down, presses her tongue into her cheek, and then glances up again—“Thank you. It’s…kind of nice to have someone looking out for me.” “Always,” I say, because I mean it. Even when I was at my angriest with her, I still would have stepped in front of a bus for her.

I end the call, unable to tear my eyes from the unfortunate object in the room. There’s only one bed.

AHAHAHAHAHMUHUHUhAhahahahHGagaggagGgahahahaahahahahahamuhahahaahmuhaahahagmjagagagAAhahAhaa

Another reason I’m not sharing that bed with him. He seems to be hitting a growth spurt as we speak, and his shoulders are doubling in size. There’d be no room for me on there. Our butts would bump. Legs would tangle. I’d have to lie facedown on his chest because it’s so big it would become the mattress. And then I’d somehow wake up pregnant and there’s no way I’d be able to birth one of Derek’s monstrous babies; therefore, I will claim the couch.

“This is how we can share a bed without touching. I’ll sleep on top of the comforter, and you can sleep under it. And just for added measure, we’ll sleep feet to face.” “You mean sixty—” “Don’t finish that sentence,” he warns, and the serious note to his voice has me thinking maybe he’s not so unaffected after all.

Holy Mother of Harry Styles.

“I’m glad you told them they’re not allowed to airbrush your images.” He lingers there and nips at the stringy strap of my bikini like he can’t resist. “Because smoothing away any part of your gorgeous body would be a travesty.”

I wanted her. Still want her. Will likely spend forever wanting her. But not just in a physical sense. I want her as my best friend, my favorite person to talk to, the one who I walk with through every good and bad season. I want so much more with her than just that kiss on the beach.

Make no mistake, though, if that’s what she wants I’ll do it. Because I’ve decided that living a life where Nora is nothing but a platonic work friend is worlds better than a life without her in it at all.

My damn eyes prickle. I won’t cry in front of her. In front of anyone really. So I try to get up from the couch with the intent of leaving the suite until I can get my feelings under wraps again, but Nora puts her hand on my chest and stops me. “Oh no, you don’t.” “Nora, please let me g…” My words die off as she slings one leg over my lap and sits. Two hands go to my jaw, and her hazel eyes sear into mine. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me the truth. Give me all those ugly feelings swirling around behind your eyes. They look like they’re on a teacup ride having the time of their life.”

“I only lost because I want to show you in a physical way that I’m intentionally and completely vulnerable to you, Nora. That I’ll gladly lose to you every day of my life—because for me, the prize is just being near you.”