The Rule Book
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Read between March 5 - March 6, 2025
7%
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attended University of Southern California
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Yoo shout out USC thanks for all the debt <3
11%
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then I remember this is Nora I’m talking to and she’s simply having to breathe through her surge of excitement. Her pupils are dilated when her eyes open again. “Derek—after this, I will stop asking you for things—but please…I’m begging you. Will you let me color-code the rules?”
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LOL!!
12%
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I’m going to run him out of business. He thinks he hates me because I’m a woman in a world that supposedly belongs to men, but why he should really hate me is because I’m smarter than him and will smile while I steal his clients.
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We love a boss ass bitch!
16%
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Because when a man doesn’t encourage you to reach for the stars, Nora Bug, he’s putting you in a glass jar to contain your light. We don’t have to settle for air through holes poked in the top of a lid. We get to become stars ourselves
19%
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You can do this. You are a strong, smart, sexy muffin of a woman and you can do this.”
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A truly unparalleled vernacular
21%
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This is the end for me. Tell my mom I love her. Please send all my money to the Knitters of America Association because I feel like it’s an underappreciated operation and I’ve always wanted to learn to knit.
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THIS is the sarah adams banter I live for
24%
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why are you gasping, Nathan, I already told you about her?” “I like to be involved in group emotions,” he says, like that’s a normal answer.
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LOL
28%
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“If that were true—you’d still be working. Get your ass up and meet me at the gym, rookie.”
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As someone who knows thaa level of sleep depravation, I almost wish she would get in a car accident on the way so he's haunted forever
35%
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“Have we been sharing pants and I don’t know about it? Is that why they’ve all been fitting me wrong lately?” “I was going to say something the other day. Your pants have looked weird, man.”
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*Another one bites the dust* - Nora Style
36%
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“Get your own drink, you unromantic piece of shit.” He hands me some rainbow-colored cash. “And you have to be the top hat—that’s all that’s left.”
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:)
37%
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“Nora, did you sleep at all last night?” I point my airplane pillow at him before I shove it into my backpack. “Good question. The answer is: No. But luckily, I don’t need sleep anymore. Unrelated note, did you know if you drink enough coffee, you can hear the color purple?”
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I've been there soldier; Godspeed.
37%
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“I did no—” I look down and somehow gasp and shriek at the same time. “Derek! I’m not wearing pants!” “I noticed,” he grumbles, not looking at me. “I tried to tell you when I walked in, but you were too busy seeing into a different universe with your new caffeine-induced powers.”
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LOLOL
84%
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Price squints in the direction of my ankles. “We really gotta find out what’s happening with your pants, man.”
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I love that this is an ongoing joke lol
90%
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“One more thing. I know you hemmed each of my pants up an inch on one leg.” I press my lips together, frantically trying to gain control of my expression. “I will not answer any further questions without my lawyer present.” “Menace.”
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finally!! Lol
98%
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“I’m guessing to make a baby,” Derek says with a grimace. “Jamal hates to be left out of group events.”
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Lololol