Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)

by E.L. James

The elevator whisks me at terminal velocity to the twentieth floor.

wouldnt u die if it was terminal velocity

To be honest, I prefer my own company, reading a classic British novel, curled up in a chair in the campus library.

how original

I push open the door and stumble through, tripping over my own feet and falling headfirst into the office. Double crap—me and my two left feet! I am on my hands and knees in the doorway to Mr. Grey’s office, and gentle hands are around me, helping me to stand. I am so embarrassed. Damn my clumsiness. I have to steel myself to glance up. Holy cow—he’s so young.

ho is u cool?

The harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. It really is all about having the right people on your team and directing their energies accordingly. I think it was Harvey Firestone who said ‘The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.’” “You sound like a control freak.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Oh, I exercise control in all things, Miss Steele,” he says without a trace of humor in his smile.

tf is both of y'all problem 😭

“I don’t have a philosophy as such. Maybe a guiding principle—Carnegie’s: ‘A man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.’ I’m very singular, driven. I like control—of myself and those around me.”

oh nah 🚨

We are besieged by do-it-yourselfers wanting to spruce up their homes. Mr. and Mrs. Clayton, John, Patrick—the two other part-timers—and I are besieged by customers.

oh are u besieged i couldnt tell

He smiles, then strides with renewed purpose out of the store, slinging the plastic bag over his shoulder, leaving me a quivering mass of raging female hormones.

sumn bout this sentence set women back 400 years

I hug myself with quiet glee, rocking from side to side, entertaining the possibility that he might like me.

wtf does this even look like

“Okay, we’ll see you there.” I am all gushing and breathy—like a child, not a grown woman who can vote and drink legally in the state of Washington.

idk what u think children r like but it sounds like none of u should be around them

Holy crap! He’s wearing a white shirt, open at the collar, and gray flannel pants that hang from his hips. His unruly hair is still damp from a shower. My mouth goes dry looking at him. He’s so freaking hot.

wait is he wearing a white button down with pajama pants hello

I pop the tea bag into the teapot and almost immediately fish it out again with my teaspoon.

death penalty at once. europeans should never have gotten their hands on tea im sick

“You should find me intimidating.” He nods. “You’re very honest. Please don’t look down. I like to see your face.” Oh. I glance at him, and he gives me an encouraging but wry smile. “It gives me some sort of clue what you might be thinking. You’re a mystery, Miss Steele.”

ho u are NAWT edward 😒 not even from temu

A Cheshire cat grin spreads over my face.

freak

She’s all tiny camisole, tight jeans, and high heels, hair piled high with tendrils hanging down around her face, her usual stunning self. Me, I’m more of a Converse and T-shirt kind of girl, but I’m wearing my most flattering jeans.

🙄

His shirt is unbuttoned at the top, and I see a sprinkling of hair in the gap. In my groggy frame of mind, he looks yummy.

ts pmo

One minute he rebuffs me; the next he sends me $14,000 books, then he tracks me like a stalker.

nicki minaj wrote stupid hoe for u

“Your hair’s very damp,” he scolds. “I couldn’t find the hair dryer,” I mutter, embarrassed. Not that I looked. Christian’s mouth presses into a hard line, but he doesn’t say anything.

the fuck is his problem

I flush and glance down at my unfinished breakfast. I can’t look him in the eye when he uses that tone of voice. “I’d like to bite that lip,” he whispers darkly.

ES QUE NO PUEDO 💀💀💀💀💀💀

I want to brush my teeth. I eye Christian’s toothbrush. It would be like having him in my mouth. Hmm… Glancing guiltily over my shoulder at the door, I feel the bristles on the toothbrush. They are damp. He must have used it already. Grabbing it quickly, I squirt toothpaste on it and brush my teeth in double time. I feel so naughty. It’s such a thrill.

ASTAGHFIRULLAH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 also she vomited and ate breakfast and NOW shes brushing her teeth? oh mygod

“You. Are. So. Sweet,” he murmurs, each word a staccato.

😟

Oh, he’s affected all right—and my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba.

what the fuck also thats not how samba works

“You’ve brushed your teeth,” he says, staring at me. “I used your toothbrush.”

so u jus kissed her thinking she still had vomit on her breath...?

“My taste is eclectic, Anastasia, everything from Thomas Tallis to the Kings of Leon. It depends on my mood.

😒

“Laters, baby,” he murmurs,

die

My inner goddess glares at me, tapping her small foot impatiently. She’s been ready for this for years, and she’s ready for anything with Christian Grey, but I still don’t understand what he sees in me, mousey Ana Steele—it makes no sense.

🙁

Are you hungry?” I shake my head. Not for food. “It’s a very big place you have here.” “Big?” “Big.” “It’s big,” he agrees, and his eyes glow with amusement.

yall pmo

“I’m really not hungry,” I whisper. “You will eat,” he says simply.

this bdsm thing cannot be for me ig cuz i woulda knocked the teeth outta him fym "you will" YOU will catch this fade how about

Sleep: The Submissive will ensure she achieves a minimum of eight hours’ sleep a night when she is not with the Dominant. Food: The Submissive will eat regularly to maintain her health and well-being from a prescribed list of foods (Appendix 4). The Submissive will not snack between meals, with the exception of fruit. Clothes: During the Term, the Submissive will wear clothing only approved by the Dominant.

AINT NO WAY DIWJDJEKD

Personal Hygiene/Beauty: The Submissive will keep herself clean and shaved and/or waxed at all times. The Submissive will visit a beauty salon of the Dominant’s choosing at times to be decided by the Dominant and undergo whatever treatments the Dominant sees fit.

see now i get why white women think growing out a bush is feminism #resist

Christian Grey’s feet… Wow, what is it about naked feet?

😟