Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)

by E.L. James

“I don’t have a philosophy as such. Maybe a guiding principle—Carnegie’s: ‘A man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.’ I’m very singular, driven. I like control—of myself and those around me.”

Did this man just memorize a book of quotes?

“Are you gay, Mr. Grey?”

Isn’t there a line from a show that goes-You can’t just ask people if they’re gay

I never have to see him again. I’m immediately cheered by the thought.

I have a sneaking suspicion you may change your mind soon

“Oh, Ana, it can’t have been that bad. I think he sounds quite taken with you.”

I love when British people write American characters, it’s so cute

Fundamentally, she’s bored and wants something to occupy her time, but she has the attention span of a goldfish. It’ll be something new next week.

Oh it’s me. The only hobby I actually stick to is reading. I used to embroider a lot before I got sick but now I can’t hold the needles. I switched to crocheting and I can do it, but it makes me tired and takes a long time. Seizure meds make you so shaky that it’s hard to get most stuff done, but even before I got sick I switched hobbys constantly

I shudder to think what could have happened to you. Do

Do people talk like this?

“Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive,”

Oh really? We couldn’t tell

“Because I’m not going to touch you, Anastasia—not until I have your written consent to do so.” His lips hint at a smile.

Oh noooo, that gives me the ick. When I was in highschool some guy asked me to sign my consent and I immediately walked out of there-it seems so sketchy to me. Like you have my consent now, but not my consent later

The Submissive will not snack between meals, with the exception of fruit.

I couldn’t do it, im a snacker

“I’ll see you this evening.” I hang up.

Ana’s kinda a bitch

Bruce is singing about being on fire and his desire.

I’m on fire is one of his best songs. I’m partial to Town Mountain’s cover of it though

“One of my mother’s friends seduced me when I was fifteen.” “Oh.” Holy shit, that’s young! “She had very particular tastes. I was her submissive for six years.” He shrugs.

Oh dear-that’s sexual assault

The Dominant and the Submissive each warrant that they suffer from no sexual, serious, infectious, or life-threatening illnesses,

I’d be saved from this boring, bossy man! Fuck yeah heart failure

Okay, I’ve seen enough. It was nice knowing you. Ana I press send, hugging myself, laughing at my little joke. Will he find it as funny?

Probably not, you didnt set it up as a joke

If you recall, I was going through this list when I was distracted and bedded by a passing control freak.

At least she’s funny

“I think he’s gay,” I respond.

This did make me giggle

“Because I’m fifty shades of fucked up, Anastasia.”

Truest statement in this whole book