Bless Me, Ultima

by Rudolfo Anaya

The slope of the hill rose gradually into the hills of juniper and mesquite and cedar clumps.

The smell of gunpowder was on his clothes. They say the devil smells of sulfur.

how could the blessing of Ultima be like the whirlwind? Was the power of good and evil the same?

I listened breathlessly. The lapping of the water was like the tide of time sounding on my soul.

“It is because good is always stronger than evil. Always remember that, Antonio. The smallest bit of good can stand against all the powers of evil in the world and it will emerge triumphant.

It was very pleasant to sit in the warm sunshine and watch the pure waters drift by. The drone of the summer insects and grasshoppers made me sleepy. The lush green of the grass was cool, and beneath the grass was the dark earth, patient, waiting…

As you grow into manhood you must find your own truths—”

My uncles were quiet and the odor around them was deep and quiet, like damp earth. The people from Las Pasturas were like the wind, and the fragrances they carried on their clothing shifted as the wind shifted.

They were the first cowboys in a wild and desolate land which they took from the Indians.

“A man does not flee from the truth,”

Perhaps the best god would be like a woman, because only women really knew how to forgive.

My uncles were farmers, men who took their only truth from the earth, and so by early afternoon we were out in the fields and orchards and the most important thing became the harvest.

From my mother I had learned that man is of the earth, that his clay feet are part of the ground that nourishes him, and that it is this inextricable mixture that gives man his measure of safety and security. Because man plants in the earth he believes in the miracle of birth, and he provides a home for his family, and he builds a church to preserve his faith and the soul that is bound to his flesh, his clay. But from my father and Ultima I had learned that the greater immortality is in the freedom of man, and that freedom is best nourished by the noble expanse of land and air and pure, white sky.

“You are growing, and growth is change. Accept the change, make it a part of your strength—”

“Understanding comes with life,” he answered, “as a man grows he sees life and death, he is happy and sad, he works, plays, meets people—sometimes it takes a lifetime to acquire understanding, because in the end understanding simply means having a sympathy for people,”

And that is what Ultima tried to teach me, that the tragic consequences of life can be overcome by the magical strength that resides in the human heart.

in the west I could see the summer sun was already low, hovering in its own blinding light before it wedded night.

The melancholy mood of evening spread along the river, and after the strange cries of birds settling to roost were gone, a strange silence fell upon the river.

when beauty mingled with sadness and flowed through my soul like the stream of time.

take life’s experiences and build strength from them, not weakness.