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August 30 - September 14, 2022
Happily, appropriately stored memories are also the basis of joy and mental health.
although a major trauma such as robbery or violence is needed to give a formal diagnosis of PTSD, a number of recent studies have demonstrated that everyday life experiences, such as relationship problems or unemployment, can produce just as many, and sometimes even more, symptoms of PTSD.
there is no clear separation between kinds of events, nor is there a clear separation between symptoms.
Everybody you see, everyone you interact with, all of the experiences that you have in the present and your perceptions of those present experiences link up to your memory networks in order for you to make sense of them.
how you respond to the people in your life, and how they respond to you, is based just as much on past experiences as it is on whatever either of you does or says in the present.
unprocessed memories can become the foundation for emotional, and sometimes physical, problems.
we were putting men on the moon, but didn’t know how to deal with our own minds and bodies.
Learning takes place as thoughts and information are consolidated and integrated with other memories during REM sleep. Research shows that if a person is taught a skill but is prevented from entering REM sleep that evening, the skill can be lost. During REM sleep, the brain allows the appropriate neural connections to make needed associations.
unprocessed memories are generally the basis of negative responses, attitudes and behaviors. Processed memories, on the other hand, are the basis of adaptive positive responses, attitudes and behaviors.
Our brains are wired to make them, and they happen all the time. Try this experiment. Choose a quiet spot and decide that for the next ten minutes all you will do is concentrate on your nostrils as you breathe naturally in and out. See how long you can do that before you find your mind has moved onto something else without your permission. It’s very difficult to sustain this kind of concentration. That’s why meditation classes take place all over the world. It’s why Zen masters spend years practicing to hold focus on breath, chants or mantras. The brain automatically makes associations in
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Qué bueno que Enjoying The Ultimate llegó a mi vida!!!!! Voy a volverlo a leer
how we grew up influences us.
We don’t get an image of the old event that says, “Oh, I’m acting this way because Mom forgot to pick me up at daycare.” We just have the feelings connected with it. Once we identify and process these unconscious memories, the negative emotions and physical sensations no longer arise. Then we can be fully adult in the present and act appropriately.
Our brains are constantly making connections that are outside our awareness.
it doesn’t matter who you are; our physiologically stored memories are the basis of our current perceptions of the present.
Unprocessed memories not only can intensify our sensations and emotional responses, they can also prevent us from feeling.
whether or not you’re in touch with your body sensations or emotions, the unconscious connections of your memory system are still affecting your reactions in the present.
the sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, loneliness, shyness and so forth temporary and for a good and obvious reason, or is it the water I’m swimming in most of the time? Is it the weather or the climate?
Since we all walk around automatically responding to the world around us, it’s important to begin noticing whether a disturbing reaction is appropriate. If not, is it excessive, is it there only in regard to a specific situation, or is it more far-reaching?
Whatever the inappropriate habitual negative emotions, beliefs and physical responses might be, they are generally caused by earlier unprocessed memories that are pushing them.
Many childhood experiences are connected to that survival fear—not being loved, death. Not being wanted, death. Not being accepted, death. All of those survival fears automatically arise and can overwhelm the processing system. Basically, that’s the way the negative experiences can get stored. So it doesn’t matter whether it’s something an adult would see as a trauma. If it has a negative impact in childhood, it can be the cause of present problems.
sometimes, people can think their lives are fully on track and not have any idea how one of their unprocessed memories is running the show. They don’t really know until it comes up to bite them.
We are all subject to reactions that researchers call the “halo effect.” We see some trait in someone else that we feel good about and automatically we give that person all sorts of other good characteristics that he or she may not possess. For instance, we may relate to someone’s sense of humor and think they also share our political views. Or we know someone is in a helping profession and believe they share our humanitarian goals. These are our automatic associations, and just like “Violets are blue,” they can be totally off base.
One of the problems is that most people view the past as merely a “learning experience.” They think, “Something happened, so I learned to feel or act in a certain way. But that was years ago.
memories
*Poems, Prayers And Promises, John Denver
memories are boxing you into responses you don’t want to have.
a primary cause of disturbing, out-of-control responses are the experiences that have been stored in the brain as unprocessed memories.
sometimes it’s what didn’t happen that is causing problems. For instance, being neglected at home, having a parent who was not available at a given time, most times, or during a thunderstorm can be a major hot spot.
When an unprocessed memory is triggered by similarities in the current situation, since the memory contains the distressing emotions, beliefs and sensations of an earlier time, we experience the world in a distorted way.
There are generally about 10 to 20 unprocessed memories that are responsible for most of the pain and suffering in most of our lives.
In many instances, in therapy sessions as in life, processing can occur naturally by reading or talking in order to make the appropriate connections. That’s how all learning takes place—by making the necessary connections between memory networks.
When parents are attuned to their children, you can say they are on the same wavelength. It represents a “secure” attachment style. During the first years of life, these connections even assist the child’s brain to fully develop in a way that helps them acquire the ability to remain calm during times of stress and relate well to others.
Whatever happened in childhood helped forge who you are today. As a child you had no control and no choice, but things are different as an adult.
There is an old American Indian saying that “You can’t outrun what’s inside you.”
The brain is part of the body and is the source of all our body responses.
the phantom limb pain is simply one of the sensations that can be stored in the unprocessed memory of the injury.
There is no separation between mind and body. In addition to poisoning our present, constant emotional turmoil can also have a negative effect on our physical health.
Whatever your age, unprocessed memories may be the actual cause of your symptoms, or may be making the problems worse.
the lack of positive feelings and support generally lead their children to suppress their own feelings and desires for comfort.
Many of us have relatives, acquaintances, coworkers that we just don’t understand. Why do they keep acting like children? The failed relationships of all kinds—marriages, friendships, stepparents, in-laws or coworkers—are often a product of the volcano of emotions that are stored in the unprocessed memory networks.
all of us, there are times when we get hooked by a situation at work, with friends or with family. We strongly believe that some person is demonstrating bad behavior. We may be completely right, but are we really dealing with it appropriately? If we are overreacting because the situation is linking into some of our own unprocessed memories, it’s simply not healthy for us.
If we understand that overreacting and “taking it personally” generally means that the situation is hooking into unprocessed memories, we can explore where our high level of emotions is coming from.
We can’t pick our family. We often can’t change them. But we can recognize when we are likely to be triggered and deal with our negative emotions and physical responses rather than buy into them with thoughts of “How dare he!” or “How could she!” Sometimes it helps to view the situation as an opportunity for our own personal exploration and growth.
it’s important to remember that the power to choose how others act is theirs. And your choices are about you. Try using your Safe/Calm Place and then quietly bring to mind the person who is bothering you and think the words, “I forgive you for being who you are.” Do it a few times. You may find that after doing that, whenever you think of them, you won’t be as upset. You may not like their actions, but continued resentment harms you more than it does them.
those who cause suffering are also part of the whole fabric of humanity. We may not like their destructive patterns. But, if we don’t learn to understand and treat perpetrators successfully, we will continue to have victims.
To deal with addiction, it’s important to learn different ways to manage emotional pain. But it’s also important to process the earlier memories that are feeding the disturbance to begin with.
Many people believe that addiction is simply a lack of “discipline.” They don’t understand how a person’s life can just spiral out of control to this degree.
Dealing effectively with addictions means not only addressing the sources of the pain, but also learning the tools to deal with disturbing emotions when they arise and learning new ways to interact with people.
While many people believe that those who seem to feel no empathy and have no hesitation in hurting others are “psychopaths” who cannot be treated, recent research has indicated that is not always the case.
life is not just about getting rid of suffering. It’s about expanding our potential while embracing feelings of joy and well-being.
Research has actually shown that stress can negatively affect our genes, even damaging them to the point of shortening our life span. It can also have a negative effect on the brain itself.
