“Eyes on me,” he commanded her, and Corvina moaned, turning her head to catch his silver gaze as he pushed inside her from behind, his back pressed against her on the bed, rocking into her slowly, early in the morning before he had to take Count, their two-year-old husky, out.
So I ignored so many instances of this, but I'm almost done so I'll summarize in this one—
Big sentences like this should be broken up. The tone of the erotica is incongruent with the tone in the part describing responsibility. It's jarring seeing them pushed together like that.
