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“I’ve lived through moments with him that you will never experience. You don’t know my heart or my intentions. You don’t even fucking know me, shifter. And that’s fine. Except one day, he will find someone real, someone that he can open up to and love. And if you speak to her like you just spoke to me, if she is weak of heart in any way, she’s going to run. Far and fast and it will be all your fault. So, watch what you say. Or you will be the reason that man is alone forever.”
“Don’t look at me like that.” My breath caught in my throat. “I wasn’t… I didn’t… Be less fucking attractive then.”
“Sometimes, our brains and our hearts are at war with one another, and no matter how much we wish things could be different, the cards didn’t play in our favor, Marley. If he comes near you, I’ll kill him. But I understand why he failed to change.”
“I know what it’s like to hear the preachings of your elders and feel that burn to follow. It’s so much easier to hate someone than it is to understand them. But as a representative of King Bastian Firepool, he’s asked me to deliver something to you. Because he would never want to take something from you without also giving back.”
“But the Dark King…” “Had his magic taken away trying to rid this world of the real evil,” I finished. “I have to believe if someone can make that kind of sacrifice and still fight for our power, they must have some good in them.”
I want more for this world than a neighbor that will not open a door out of spite. Solstice is a time of rebirth and joy. We should embrace that and try to be better, even when it’s hard.”
“I’m always fighting. Myself mostly. I know I should let go of all those things Past showed us, and trust me, there’s a lot more. But something in me fights to hold on to it. It’s as if I am afraid that letting go of the fear will take away the memories. I want to be afraid. I never want to forget the way it made me feel to lie there and watch her die. Even when it hurts to remember.”
“Look like a ghost, smell like a ghost, do weird ghost shit… you’re a ghost.”
“All this time, it seemed like everyone else just moved on with their lives as if something catastrophic hadn’t happened. Because it hadn’t. Not to them. But losing Laramie was like forgetting how to breathe. How to live. And I was alone with that for a long time. I bet she was, too. “If Bash told them it would be me, she was coming either way. To kill me for the moments I’d stolen with Laramie or to share in her grief. Mourning someone is really fucking lonely, Marley.”
“Tell me you don’t want this,” he demanded, burying a hand into my hair to force my gaze to his. “Tell me you don’t want me.” I tried and failed to catch my breath as he waited for an answer. “I do want this.”
“It should be a sin to die without ever seeing someone so fucking perfect,”
“I never got the chance to say it before Future sent you away, but I am. I’ve spent so much time running. And I don’t know. I saw the way you were watching me, and I wanted it, Marley. All of it. Late mornings in bed and holding your hand. Sunsets and holidays. I wanted inside jokes. I wanted to be the reason you smiled every single day. I wanted to never blink again, out of fear you’d disappear one day. That’s why I’ve clung so tightly to my friends. Because if they are with me, they’ll never leave me.”
“Past trauma is a sleeping beast. Sometimes, you forget it’s there, and sometimes, you’re running with fangs on your heels.”
His soul has found you in every lifetime apart from this one, when yours found his. It wasn’t his mark that drew you to him, it was your heart.
“It doesn’t matter. I would have given everything.” Moving so close there was no longer space between us, except a breath between lips, he continued. “There wasn’t a thing she could have demanded that I wasn’t willing to bargain for your freedom.”
“Can I keep you forever?” he whispered, though I’d thought he’d fallen asleep. “That sounds an awful lot like a commitment, Atlas,” I answered, running a finger over his bare chest. “Oh, good. I must have said it exactly right.”
