The Martian

by Andy Weir

Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.

As with most of life’s problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.

Only an idiot would keep that thing near the Hab. So anyway, I brought it back to the Hab.

I tested the brackets by hitting them with rocks. This kind of sophistication is what we interplanetary scientists are known for.

It fell onto its wheels, kicking up a large cloud of soft dust. It was a silent affair.

I’ll spend the rest of the evening enjoying a potato. And by “enjoying” I mean “hating so much I want to kill people.”

“I admit it’s fatally dangerous,” Watney said. “But consider this: I’d get to fly around like Iron Man.” “We’ll keep working on ideas,” Lewis said. “Iron Man, Commander. Iron Man.”

It’s true, you know. In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.