The Martian

by Andy Weir

If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I’ll have to risk it.

“Astronauts are inherently insane. And really noble. What’s the idea?”

I’m the King of Mars.

By the way, the name of the probe we’re sending is Iris. Named after the Greek goddess who traveled the heavens with the speed of wind. She’s also the goddess of rainbows. [08:47] WATNEY: Gay probe coming to save me. Got it.

I’ll spend the rest of the evening enjoying a potato. And by “enjoying” I mean “hating so much I want to kill people.”

“Have a good flight?” Venkat asked. “I only have a passing memory of what sleep is,” Bruce said.

“You’re sending him to space under a tarp.” “Pretty much, yeah.” “Like a hastily loaded pickup truck.” “Yeah. Can I go on?” “Sure, can’t wait.”

[09:09] MAV: You’re sending me into space in a convertible.

“Oh,” Lewis said, “well if you won’t let us then— Wait…wait a minute….I’m looking at my shoulder patch and it turns out I’m the commander. Sit tight.