Blood of Dragons (Rain Wild Chronicles #4)

by Robin Hobb

She steeled herself to the pain, not allowing her body to compensate for it in any way. She simply had to endure it and fly as if it did not hurt. She burned that thought into her brain and then without pausing, opened her wings, crouched and launched herself upward. Every beat of her wings was like being stabbed with a fiery spear. She roared, giving voice to her fury at the pain, but did not vary the rhythm of her wing beats.

What sort of person would cling to the hope that someone else would return to give meaning to her life? What sort of quivering parasite needed someone else to validate her existence?

‘Kill myself? In despair over all the days I’ve wasted, all the ways I’ve deceived myself? What would that do except prove that in the end I still could not escape my own foolishness? No. I’m not ending my life, dragon. I’m taking it. I’m making it mine.’ For a long moment she felt nothing from Sintara. Probably the dragon had spotted some prey and lost all interest in the gnat-lifed woman who could not even kill a rabbit for her. Then, without warning, the dragon’s thoughts boomed through her mind again. The shape of your thoughts has changed. I think you are finally becoming yourself.

She could change. She wasn’t chained to her past. She could become someone who wasn’t merely a product of what others had done to her. It wasn’t too late.

Long yellow fangs extended past his lower jaw. His coat was an uneven black, darker dapples against blackness. His ears were tufted and the muscles under his smooth fur bunched and slid as he moved. She was caught in disbelief, filled with wonder at the sight of an animal that no one had seen in ages. And then, almost immediately, her translation of an Elderling word popped into her mind. ‘Pard,’ she breathed aloud. ‘A black pard.’

‘Not prey,’ she whispered hoarsely to herself and her grin grew wider.

Mercor held an odd sway over the others, one Tats did not completely understand. In their serpent incarnations, he had led their ‘tangle’.

Maulkin i knew it

It surprised him now to realize how much authority he had conceded to her simply because she was an adult and a scholar.

‘I mean that dragons will rule the world again. As they used to.’

Dragons were the centre of the Elderling civilizations, with humans a separate population that lived apart from them, in settlements like the ones we found here. Humans raised crops and cattle which they traded to Elderlings in exchange for their wondrous goods.

If these dragons breed and bring more of their kind into the world, then inevitably they will end up running the world for their own benefit.’ ‘That sounds so selfish!’ ‘Does it? Isn’t it what humans have done for generations? We claim the land as ours and turn it to our purposes. We change the channels of rivers and the face of the land so that we can travel by boat or grow a crop or graze cattle. And we think it only natural that we should shape the whole world to be comfortable and yielding for humankind. Why should dragons be any different in how they perceive the world?’

‘Let him go,’ Mercor said wearily. There was no force behind his words but they carried to every ear. ‘He takes the risk that each of us must chance, sooner or later. To stay here is to die slowly. Perhaps a swift drowning in cold water is a better choice.’ The gold dragon’s black eyes swirled as he watched Sestican’s ponderous flight.

‘In Trehaug or Bingtown, that would be scandal. There, they would already be outcasts. Here, when you look aside when they kiss, it is not in disgust but to grant them privacy.’

‘Or perhaps we look aside in envy,’ he said, surprising himself with his honesty. ‘It is hard for loneliness to gaze on happiness,’

‘It is as you said. I have a different perspective. But if I tell you what I foresee, you may not like the answer.’

‘You are young, even by Rain Wild standards. By Elderling count, my studies tell me your life has barely begun. You have not decades, but lifetimes before you. And I suspect that as Kelsingra comes back to life and its population grows, you will have many young women to choose from. You will find someone, eventually. Or possibly several someones, over the course of your many years.’ He stared at her, shocked into silence by such a prospect. ‘Elderlings are not humans,’ she asserted quietly. ‘Of old, they were not bound by the conventions of humans.’ She looked away from him, across the river to Kelsingra, as if she could see the future in the misty city. ‘And I expect it will be so again.

Better a bare hut on a riverbank, with or even without Leftrin, than a return to that life.

It was so hard not to retreat to her supposed usefulness as a scholar of Elderlings and dragons. But she was learning. The work she did now was humble but essential and satisfying in a very different way from what she was accustomed to.

Sintara had only a moment to take in the spectacle before Mercor knocked her down. Gaunt as he was, he was still larger than she was. As she sprawled on the turf, he reared up over her and she expected him to spray her with venom. Instead he came down almost gently, his heavy forefeet pinning her wings to the earth and pressing painfully on the flexible bones.

‘Don’t,’ he hissed at her, and the finest mist of golden acid rode his word. The stinging kiss of it enveloped her head and she flung her face aside from it. He rumbled out his words, so that the others heard, but he pressed them strongly into her mind at the same time. ‘You are impatient, queen. Understandably so. A little time more, and I will fly. And I will mate you.’

‘Don’t threaten me, drake.’ He turned his head slightly sideways. His wings were still half-open, ready to deal a stunning slap if she sprang at him. He spoke quietly, only into her mind. Not a threat, Sintara. A promise. As he closed his wings, his musk wafted toward her again. She knew her scales flushed with colours in response, the reflexive biological response of a queen in oestrus. His black eyes whirled with interest.

‘It is a concern. I will take it on myself to find out how Elderlings once prevented conception, and when I know it, I will tell you. After that we can enjoy ourselves without fear.’

‘I’ve told you. I use the stones and the memories they hold as they were intended. Some of it, I now understand, was street art. Some of them, especially the ones in the walls of homes, were personal memories, like a diary. Some are poetry, especially in the statues, or histories. But there will be a place where the Elderlings stored their magic and their medicines, and when I discover it, there I think I will find what we need. Does that comfort you?’

‘This probably won’t make sense to you. It doesn’t make sense to me, and so I can’t explain it to you. I like Rapskal. Well, I love Rapskal, just as I love you. How could we have been through all we’ve been through together and not love one another? But it wasn’t about what I felt for Rapskal that night. I didn’t stop and think, “Would I rather be doing this with Tats?” It was all about how I felt about me. About being me, and that suddenly it was something I could do if I wanted to. And I did want to.’

‘I think I said yes to myself, and Rapskal happened to be the person who was there when I said it. That doesn’t sound very nice, does it? But there it is and it’s the truth.’

Making it impossible to admit that, yes, she had since then rather wished it had been him rather than Rapskal. Tats was solid and real in her life, someone she had always felt she could count on as a partner.

‘I awe you. Perhaps you cannot sing my praises with your voice, but reflected in you, I know I am the most magnificent of the dragons you have ever seen.’ ‘Reflected in me?’ Dragons did not smile, but Thymara felt Sintara’s amusement. ‘Do you fish for compliments?’

‘The most beautiful of all the dragons,’ Sintara amended her thought for her. ‘And the most brilliant and creative, as is clearly reflected in my having created the most dazzling Elderling.’

‘From the beginning, I saw you had the most potential for development. It was why I chose you.’

‘Oh, doubtless you thought you chose me,’ Sintara went on with casual arrogance. ‘But I drew you to me. And as you see, I have employed a keen eye and a sure skill to make you the loveliest and most unusual of the Elderlings that now live. Just as I am the most glorious of the dragons.’

‘Where have you seen such intricacy, such brilliance of colour, such design?’ Thymara stared. Then wordlessly, she dragged her tunic up and over her head, to unfold her own wings. A glance over her shoulder told her that she had not imagined it. The differences were of scale only. She mirrored Sintara’s glory.

‘There. Next time you are moaning and snivelling that your dragon has no time for you, look over your shoulder and realize you already wear my colours. What more could any creature ask?’

‘I am different. I am not hungry. I am not cold. I am not a crippled, pitiable thing. I am a dragon. I don’t need you, Thymara.’

‘Dragons were dependent on Elderlings?’ She sensed that she trod in dangerous territory, but she formed the question anyway. ‘For what?’ The dragon looked at her for a long moment and she wished she had not dared to ask, sensing how resentful Sintara was of her question. ‘For Silver.’ She spoke the word and stared at Thymara, eyes whirling as if the girl would deny what she said. Thymara waited. ‘For a time Silver ran in the river here and was easy to find. Then, there was an earthquake, and things changed. The Silver ran thinly for a time. Some dragons could find it by diving into the shallows and digging for it. Sometimes it welled up abruptly, and showed as a silver streak in the river. But mostly, it did not. Then, we could only get it from the Elderlings.’ ‘I don’t understand.’ Thymara kept her words as soft and neutral as she could. ‘Silver? A treasure of some kind?’ ‘Neither do I understand!’ In a fury, the dragon erupted fully from the sand-pit. ‘It’s not a treasure, not as humans think of such. Not metal made into little rounds to trade for food, nor decorations for the body. It’s the Silver, precious to dragons. It’s here. It was here, first in the river near this city, and then, when the Elderlings lived, here in the city, somewhere. Everything else we can find here. All the pleasures we recalled from Kelsingra are here – the hot-water baths, the winter shelters, the sand-grooming places, everything else we recall so clearly is here. So the Silver should be here...

We will not be full dragons, nor you real Elderlings, until we can find the Silver wells. But you refuse to remember! No Elderling dreams of the wells. And try as I may, I cannot even make you dream of a Silver well!’

Alise mused aloud, ‘There are odd mentions in some of the old manuscripts, things I was never able to make sense of. Hints that there was a special reason for Kelsingra to exist, something secret, something to guard …’

She felt a trace of shame when she thought how often she surrendered and joined him there. It was an escape to a gloriously elegant time.

‘The well isn’t silver,’ Tats said slowly. He gave her a sideways glance as if he expected her to mock him. ‘I dreamed of it last night. The structure around it was old and very fancy. As much wood as stone, as if it had been built at the very beginning of the city. Inside there was this mechanism … I couldn’t see it well. But when you cranked up the bucket from the depths, it was full of silvery stuff. Thicker than water. Dragons can drink it and love it. But I had the feeling it was dangerous to humans.’ ‘Humans? Or Elderlings?’ He looked at her for a long moment. ‘I’m not sure. In the dream I knew I had to be very careful of it. But was I dreaming it as if I were a human or an Elderling?’

‘Those standing stones, the big ones in the circle in that plaza, they remind me of different cities when I pass them. You know, the other Elderling cities …’

I like being me, Thymara. I want to still be Tats, no matter how long I live and tend my dragon. And I want to share those years with Thymara. I don’t need to soak you in someone else’s life when I’m with you.’ He paused, letting her feel the sting of that little barb. Then he added, ‘My turn for a question. Are you living your life, Thymara? Or avoiding it by living someone else’s?’

But worst of all is, while you are swimming in memories, what are you not doing here? What experiences are you missing, what chances pass you by? A year from now, what will you say about these seasons, what will you remember?’

‘When you’re with me, Thymara … if you ever decide to be with me … I won’t be thinking of anyone else except you. I won’t call you by someone else’s name, or do something to you because it’s what someone else liked a long, long time ago. When you finally decide to let me touch you, I’ll be touching you. Only you. Can Rapskal say that to you?’

‘The Duke knows that your flesh and blood will not serve him as well as a dragon’s would. Knows it, and does not care. He will spend you ruthlessly, using you as a stopgap measure to keep himself alive until he can obtain the genuine cure.’

‘I am as much his captive as you are, and as human as you say you are, but it will make no difference to him. He will consume us both. I am the bribe that he offers Ellik in return for the Chancellor doing all he can to preserve my father’s miserable life. It gives me a little comfort that you say that if he consumes you, your death will not buy him more life.’

‘My father’s daughter might have a long lifespan, but not Ellik’s wife, I think.

I am sure that is why the mother of his sons died so suddenly; to make space for me.’ She looked at him. ‘I did not know her but I mourn her.

So. To hasten our ends, you should eat.’ Her tone became falsely light, a mockery of the tragedy in her eyes.

Chassim was silent for a moment. ‘If we share all, there is enough for both of us to dine well.’ Her voice was hesitant, her eyes downcast. ‘Please,’ he begged, and something in that simple word woke the first shadow of a smile he had seen on her face. ‘Please,’ she said softly to herself, as if the word were foreign to her. ‘Yes. And with thanks.’

Lissy Sebastipan has broken her engagement to Trader Porty’s son Ismus! She discovered that he had a bastard daughter with a girl from a Three Ships family.

Should you have time to do any trading, I have heard that some absolutely amazing deep-purple flame jewels have recently been unearthed. Do look into this rumour, and feel free to use the family credit if they prove worthy of purchase.