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My blood is only useful if it can manage to stay inside my body. My mind is only useful if it can manage to not get lost. My heart is only useful if it can manage to not get broken. Well, it seems I’ve become utterly useless, then.
“Tell me, darling, do you think of me often?” His voice is a murmur, as if his lips were pressed against my ear. I shiver, knowing exactly what that feels like. If he knows I’m here then why hasn’t he— “Do I haunt your dreams, plague your thoughts, like you do mine?”
“It’s a good thing you’re not here,” he says softly, a tone I never thought I’d hear from him again. “Because I still haven’t found my courage.”
The stars are flirtatious things, always winking down in the darkness. But they make for good company, surrounding me with their countless constellations.
One cannot be considered powerless if everyone else is as well.
I used to welcome the idea of drowning in those blue eyes of hers. But now, seeing the disdain she stares me down with, I realize that drowning alone wasn’t what I craved, but sinking together.
If she is Shadow, then I am Flame. This girl is the very thing I can’t seem to escape—can’t seem to go anywhere without the remnants of her following. Where I am, she is. Whether it’s in the flesh or in the fragments of my mind. And where there is a flame, there is always a shadow. She is my inevitable.
But here, she is no one. Here, I am nothing. Here, we are forgotten.
“You promised to be my undoing,” I murmur, lowering my head close enough to hear her sharp intake of breath. “So, prove it.” Her face angles up toward mine, our noses brushing. She never lowers her dagger, and the point of her blade still draws blood from my throat. “Prove it,” I repeat, voice quiet. “Hate me enough to make me want you.” I cup her jaw, feeling her eyes burning into mine. “Ruin me.”
Yet, I can’t help but think that in another life, another time, another chance to choose each other—I would be in that bed beside her.
“You think so little of me, Highness.” A laugh. “No, I think so often of you. Which is why I know exactly what you would do.”
She looks at me, shocked. And then she smiles, bright and big like the night sky hanging above us. I fear she could rival the stars.
No, everything about her is a bold sort of beauty, like a rose proudly displaying its thorns. She’s alluring in the way that most deadly things are. It’s captivating.
A frustrated sound tears from my throat. “Well, you’re not exactly the most encouraging person to be tied up with.” “Under different circumstances,” he pants, “I promise you I’m much more fun tied up.”
At my weakest, I wish for him. And at my strongest, I wish I could say it wasn’t the same.
Holy yearning
“Jealousy looks good on you, Gray,” I murmur, my fingers still cupping her chin. Her eyes flick between mine, full of a familiar fire. “I’m not jealous.” My gaze lingers on her lips before traveling down the length of her. “Then you just look good.”
“I think you overestimate love,” I say simply. “You can’t overestimate something that is infinite.” Infinite. How equally intimidating and intriguing.
We have little water left to spare, and horrifyingly, I don’t hesitate before pouring most of it over his wound. Because, despite it all, I’ve come to realize that there is little I wouldn’t sacrifice for him.
“The blood will always be there. The blood of my father. The blood of my best friend. The blood of every person I have killed. It’s always there.” My voice cracks. “And I’m drowning in it.”
“Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” she asks softly. “Like I’m worthy of being seen.”
“Are poets not just fools with fancy words?”
“You asked me what my favorite color was once. I’d never even pondered the answer to that question before you. And yet, I realized in that moment that it was blue.” He bends to brush a kiss to my temple, a murmur against my skin. “It is your eyes.”
“Tell me you hate me, and I’ll still count every heartbeat, every freckle, every shiver of your body, if only you say it with a smile.” He backs away, freeing my face from his hands. “I may be a monster, but if you cut me, I’ll bleed. And if you break my heart, Pae, you’ll break me. So, if even a sliver of your soul longs for mine, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to deserve it.”
“Call us even. Call me crazy. I don’t care. Just…” His eyes are pleading, brimming with emotion. “Just call me yours.”
Now I’ll watch her become someone else’s. Because the beast doesn’t get the beauty.
