My Favorite Terrible Thing

by Madeleine Henry

Because she’s learned how to make a living out of being forgettable. Out of being white space. Out of being everyone and no one.

“And now we’re finding that trauma isn’t just about what happens to you. It’s about what doesn’t happen. It’s about all the good times that you didn’t have. All the good people who weren’t there. It’s harder to measure what never existed, but that’s what we’re starting to do. We’re measuring what was missing. We’re taking the dimensions of those holes and their consequences. The results are extraordinary. Tragic and extraordinary. We’re finding that the longer people go without certain crucial and nourishing experiences, the deeper the damage.

I never know in the moment what’s going to matter. It’s only looking back that I can tell which days counted a little bit more.