This Time You Return To Yourself

by Duduzile Noeleen Ngwenya

To my past self, Not everyone gets the kind of closure that makes them understand why it all had to end the way it did, or why they weren’t loved as they deserved. Maybe you won’t get a call from them admitting to their wrong. Sometimes, the only closure you’ll ever get is the tears you shed because of their actions, and reminders of how heavy your heart felt when you were with them. And that will be the only kind of closure you’ll ever need to move on.

It always feels like you can’t take it. Each time you hurt; it feels like it’s at a degree you can’t handle. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you’re going to be okay. You need YOU to remind you that you’ve fought pain before and came out on the other side as if you’ve never felt so broken. You need you to allow you to feel the pain. If it hurts, maybe you have to stay there a little longer. It might take a while to get better because you feel like this time it’s the end. It’s not. It’s just another hurdle you’re going to get through in time. Give it time. Give yourself time. Replay the painful event until you don’t anymore. You don’t have to do anything specific to speed up the process or not feel its intensity. You just need to be there. This is just one of those times when you need you.