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I make a mental note to never have children.
for nearly two decades, and murdered . . .” I pretend to check a note on my palm. “A whole zero. Wow.”
My first caregiver had a little dog that she sometimes carried around in her purse, and honestly, I’d have been less shocked if she’d combed her hair with a toilet brush. I eyed him suspiciously for a few days. Showed him my fangs when he showed his. Finally, I found the courage to ask the caregiver when she was going to eat him. She quit that night.
“no cash withdrawals or online payments were processed. But maybe you’re correct, and she’s bouncing to Las Vegas on her pogo stick?”
“Then maybe he’s not your cat,” she says, with the delicate somberness of a therapist who’s letting me know that I don’t have a diagnosable disorder, I’m just a bitch.
I swallow. I just can’t with children.
I can relate, since I grew up fairly sure that if I misbehaved, a Were would crawl up the toilet to eat my ass.
The only reply is a deep, long, panties-shitting growl. “Would it make things better or worse if I growled back?”
And to be in high spirits, despite her attempted kidnapping. I applaud her resilience, but wow, children. They’re truly unfathomable.
and fuck children for being little assholes who manipulate people into wanting to protect them.
You type ‘Google’ in the Google bar to start a new search.”
It’s past midnight. Prime awake time for me,
Sparkles is, according to someone who’s been scolded multiple times in the past two hours for stuffing Play-Doh into outlets,
I’m a bit mortified to have assumed he was attracted to me. Not because I don’t think I’m attractive—I’m hot, and fuck you,
“Stop eye-fucking each other in front of me—this is incest. Bestiality, at the very least. Misery.” Owen
then lingers here, on the floor of my closet,
every time I nibble at his glands,
“My reasoning skills have always been on point, fuckwaffle.”
About an hour after the sun has risen, I go to sleep.
He’s not sure he deserves the warmth of his current life, but he’ll keep it anyway.
