The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness

by Jonathan Haidt

Practice letting your kids out of your sight without them having a way to reach you. While you cook dinner for your friends, send your kids out with theirs to the grocery store to pick up more garlic (even if you don’t need it). It is only by letting your kids out of your sight, untethered, that you will come to see that this is doable, and rather great. (It is probably what you were doing by the time you were eight.) This kind of practice will help you feel more prepared to give them more independence and to hold off on giving them a phone because you’ll have seen for yourself that they can do fine without one. Just give the kids a note that they can show adults that says they have your permission to be out without you. You can print out such a card at LetGrow.org that says “I’m not lost or neglected!” and includes your phone number.[11] Encourage sleepovers, and don’t micromanage them, although if the friend brings a phone, hold on to it until the friend leaves, otherwise they’ll have a phone-based sleepover. Encourage walking to school in a group. This can begin as early as first grade if the walk is easy and there is an older child to be responsible. Safe Routes to School[12] is an organization that can help make sure there are stop signs, bike paths, crossing guards, and so on that allow kids to get to school. If school is too far to walk or ride a bicycle, consider “drive to five.” You drop kids off, with other kids, at a spot that is five minutes away from school. L...