XOXO (Roosevelt College, #1)

by Christina Lee

I moved toward the cupboard—and the room started spinning. I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I’d taken one more aspirin before I left.

I didn’t want to tell them how many nights I lay awake, afraid that every little sniffle or stomachache was a sign that my cancer was returning.

“It was a couple of years of your life, and now you’re better,” Dad said as if the threat was gone. “The connections you should be making are with those who can help you later in life.”

My eyes suddenly stung with tears because what I was experiencing was profound—like the best moment of my life.

There was this moment when he looked so uncomfortable, and then our eyes met, and I recognized something in him,”

“Like I’ve been in that situation before, you know what I mean?”

I can tell he cares about you.” “What? How…how do you figure?” “Well, right now he’s trying hard not to stare at you, and it’s the same for you.”

Back in my car, it practically drove itself to Lakeview Trailer Park.

Seriously? Geez

“Please don’t be mad…or think I’m a stalker.”

Well ya kinda are

Mom had shared once that they’d tried to have more kids, but after her third miscarriage, they’d given up.

The following Friday, I showed up at Lark’s again.

“Look who’s decided to grace us with his presence,” Bones announced when I followed Emil inside his dorm room.

“At least you got rid of that awful jacket.” “What jacket?” I asked around a dry throat. “That shiny black one,” he replied with no shame or filter.

“At least I try.” I shrugged again because it was useless to argue. Even the jeans I’d slipped into today were secondhand. It was the best I could do.

“I bet I can win a stuffed animal before you do,” Bones challenged.

Why does it seem like he’s fighting a crush on Emil? Or is he really just a bonehead?

I woke up early Sunday morning with my bed soaked through from sweat.

I didn’t have a fever or any of the other symptoms I’d first developed with leukemia, and my last scan was normal, so it was likely an anomaly.

losing a few pounds this semester had to do with my rigorous schedu...

Did I have what it took to do this for a living? If not, I would always be involved somehow, I’d decided, either as a teacher or behind the scenes.

As soon as I joined Lark in pre-calc, there was a low murmur in the room.

he texted me from across the table. I feel like people have been staring at me all morning. I kept my gaze trained on my phone as I stealthily typed: Me too.

Flash smirked. “So how was the dance recital?” A-Train lifted his hand to his mouth to hold back laughter.

“It was obviously a thing if people are talking about it. You even got him flowers and hung with his family,” Flash replied.

Son, we need to talk. What the hell? Could he have heard already? But the timing was suspicious. Now I felt like I wanted to puke.

Please don’t make me cry

Spencer was too groggy to notice how badly I’d sweat in my sheets. Again.

“So it is true?” Flash asked. “You and Lark?”

“We were kids, asshole. Look at the handwriting!” I reached for the paper, but Flash resisted, which resulted in it being torn in half.

I didn’t feel safe from anyone. We really didn’t have each other’s backs, did we?

Trying not to cry…

By Monday lunchtime,

everyone seemed to know about the letter. Obviously, someone on the team thought it was funny or titillating to share what had gone down.

It would be a relief to finally tell my teammates about my medical history. They’d hear about it soon enough anyway, especially if my persistent symptoms meant the cancer had returned.

“I’m sorry that finding your note put you in a bad headspace for the game,”

“And I’m so tired of pretending.”

“Pretending that I didn’t have cancer and that I’m not terrified that I have it again.”

“I’m done hiding how amazing these past few months have been since Lark came back into my life.”

“Lark is important to me, and I…well…I love him.”

“It’s easy to see if you watch them together. How loving and supportive they are toward each other.”

Bones said, “How do you know Lark didn’t want to wear my number?” “Leave my man alone,” I said, and Spencer laughed.