Almost Surely Dead

by Amina Akhtar

I told him I’d had a rough day at work and would talk to him later. I didn’t want people to know I was such a screwup. Was I taking this too hard? Yes, but I hated doing a bad job.

If you believe you’re a victim, you won’t fight back. You are not a victim. You have agency and power.

“Oh, try this, it’s a new product that helps even skin tone.” She was showing me her newest products for her upcoming Aphrodite launch, all while making us eggs. Get you a friend who can do both.

I wanted to be alone. I was exhausted. Not just tired, but soul-crushingly beat. I felt like giving up. You wanted to kill me? Come on over and do it. I wouldn’t even fight it.

He had more food. Food over flowers, that was my rule. Snacks would always win me over.

My life wasn’t real; my memories couldn’t be trusted. Who existed and who didn’t? Was all this one giant hallucination?

In the hours alone, with no one to talk to, I spoke to my mother. I didn’t know if she heard me. But I finally understood why she’d done what she had. She’d tried to save us; she’d had to make hard choices. I never got that before. It was like Zabir had said: he forgave his parents for being human.