What's Left of Me

by Kristen Granata

Sometimes it feels like I’m living someone else’s life, like this is all a dream.

I can lay my head down at night with a clear conscience because I’m not living a lie.

I’d rather look ugly on the outside than be ugly on the inside like you.”

But sometimes, silence is easier than navigating around all the egg shells lying at my feet.

But the things we dream about aren’t always in the cards for us.

It’s not right, and it’s not fair, and I’ll never understand why things like that have to happen. Never. But it happened.” Her eyes bore through mine in the darkness. “Somehow, some way, you have to pick yourself up and move forward. You can’t stay stuck in this purgatory of torture and self-loathing. It’ll take some time, but you can start a new life. Find someone new, start a family. Try again.”

“You don’t have to understand. What I need is for you to be my friend.”

“When someone pushes you away, you need to find the strength to hold on tighter.”

Anybody can be a victim of abuse. Getting hit doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. It means you haven’t learned your worth yet.”

“Life doesn’t always go along with the plans we make for ourselves.”

Take this time to reflect on who you are and who you want to become. Think about what path you want to take moving forward. It’s up to you. You have the power to change your story.”

An apology becomes a lie if you keep doing the thing you’re sorry for.”

It humbles a man when he doesn’t get everything he wants.”

The right person won’t ask you to sacrifice who you are for his love. Losing yourself in a relationship is never an option. You’re the most important thing you’ve got. You can love someone with your whole heart and still stay true to yourself. If he doesn’t like that, then he’s not the one for you.

But I can tell you from experience, time is not going to heal this wound. I’ve just learned to breathe around the hole in my heart.

“Your mistakes don’t define you. It’s a chapter in your life, a part of the whole.

What happened to us isn’t our fault, but what we choose to do with it after is up to us.

I suppose divorce is easy on paper where there are no emotions involved. But that paper holds my life. My future.

“Change is scary as fuck.”

“Your mistakes don’t define you. They teach you, sure. But they don’t change who you are. They don’t dictate your future. Not unless you let it.”

Sometimes things happen in life that we can’t explain. We can’t make sense of it.”

And New Yorkers rebuild. We take the past with us as we move forward, and it makes us stronger. Smarter.

Sometimes, you can’t fathom why awful things happen in life.

When you’re sure you’ve lost everything, there’s one thing that always remains deep down inside yourself. Hope