What's Left of Me

by Kristen Granata

But sometimes, silence is easier than navigating around all the egg shells lying at my feet.

“When someone pushes you away, you need to find the strength to hold on tighter.”

Anybody can be a victim of abuse. Getting hit doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. It means you haven’t learned your worth yet.”

“The most difficult part of this whole thing,” Melissa continues, “is coming to terms with the fact that you allowed someone to hurt you. You’ll question yourself, if you haven’t begun doing that already, which is natural. But I want you to remember what we talked about when you first started your sessions with me. Your father had narcissistic tendencies, which turned you into a people-pleaser. Being the child of a narcissist, you were blamed for things that you didn’t do, things that you had no control over.

Hear me when I say you cannot fix anyone but yourself. You can change, and grow, and become a stronger person who doesn’t feel the need to fix everyone around them. Right now, you need to focus on fixing yourself.”

An apology becomes a lie if you keep doing the thing you’re sorry for.”

“How can you say you love me but not know if you want to be with me?” I rise from the couch and look down at him. “The same way you can tell me you love me and hit me.”

The right person won’t ask you to sacrifice who you are for his love. Losing yourself in a relationship is never an option. You’re the most important thing you’ve got. You can love someone with your whole heart and still stay true to yourself. If he doesn’t like that, then he’s not the one for you.

We both exhale, and I don’t know who needs this more. The angel caught up in chaos, or the demon searching for peace.

“Your mistakes don’t define you. They teach you, sure. But they don’t change who you are. They don’t dictate your future. Not unless you let it.”