How to Stop Breaking Your Own Heart: Stop People-Pleasing, Set Boundaries, and Heal from Self-Sabotage

by Meggan Roxanne

Each one of us carries a personal story, a past that continuously influences our present.

from others, while sacrificing parts of ourselves in the process. When we feel incomplete, it’s tempting to believe that receiving love from someone else will fill that void, as if their compassion can heal us more than our own. So, we go to great lengths just to feel loved – but that’s not love; it’s dependence, and it’s not a healthy way to live.

When we view life as a rehearsal, it liberates us from the fear of making mistakes and instead, invites us to embrace the notion that every step or misstep that we take is part of a larger process of becoming.

We don’t even acknowledge the anomalies; we just marvel at their existence and feel grateful to be able to witness such beauty. It’s a pity we don’t extend this sense of awe inward – I

often wonder why we look at the world’s phenomena and forget to include ourselves.

I grew increasingly tired of who I was becoming. Tired of not having the confidence to live in my truth, tired of fearing my potential, tired of living on the sidelines while watching everyone around me thrive, tired of waking up consumed with sorrow, tired of disappointing the people who were rooting for me, tired of Mum asking me when I was going to step into my purpose, and tired of the ‘what ifs,’ ‘buts,’ and ‘maybes’ that I used as a shield against trying again.

you find yourself at a low point, one you’ve visited before, don’t fall into the trap of believing you’ve exhausted your chances of starting over. It’s not true. (And guess what? No one is keeping score, either.)

understand how difficult it can be for some of us to be alone – for many, it feels almost painful to not have people around. This can be for all sorts of different reasons; some struggle

to be in their own company because the silence can amplify the thoughts they’re trying to avoid; others might be naturally extroverted, which means they gain their personal

energy from communicating and engagin...

It’s interesting who the universe sends to you, strangers who will leave permanent marks on your path in the future.

We’re not entitled to a helping hand, but we are worthy of

In moments of vulnerability, when your life is clouded by sadness and desperation, it’s all too easy for the wrong people to appear as saviors, like knights in shining armor.

Healthy relationships don’t demand you shrink or dim your light for the other person to feel validated, superior, or comfortable. Healthy relationships don’t require you to ignore your own needs, or

bury your desires or passions. Healthy

relationships don’t leave you feelin...

firmly believe that everyone we meet serves a purpose for a specific season in our lives, and every person comes with lessons that were intended for us to learn.

Living with this relentless cycle of self-critique was like hosting a negative inner voice that celebrated my downfalls and perpetuated my fears and insecurities.

It’s one of the biggest contributors to how I broke my own heart by reinforcing negative perceptions of myself and my own abilities.

one of the traps of a negative internal voice is playing into the assumption that it’s correct.

Every day, someone’s time runs out and what’s left behind are the people whose lives they touched, and their personal stories of victories, loves, and losses. When

Applying a boundary is not an act of unkindness.

The timelines we impose on ourselves are restrictive and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure.

It showed me how forgiveness can liberate not just the person you’re forgiving, but also settle the emotional turmoil inside the person that forgives.

An obsessive pursuit of perfection can wreak havoc on our mental and emotional balance.

Recognizing our own completeness involves embracing the abundance of our character and rejecting the notion of perfection, because it simply doesn’t exist.

Because it’s so hard – almost impossible, really – to bring down someone who is fully honest about themselves, embracing their flaws and all.