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As I got older, and my pants got larger, I became more self-conscious about my chosen method of repentance. But I couldn’t stop; it was like an addiction—eat as much as I can in as short a period, and then cry over the wrappers as if my tears could eradicate the calories I just consumed.
“No, Aves, this year is about
you learning to love yourself and accept yourself for the beautiful, weird goddess that you are.”
While I love to tease CeCe and provoke her, she’s my best friend, and I would bury bodies with her, if it ever came to that.
“You are a hot, curvy woman with a body people spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery to achieve. Why you think that anyone wouldn’t be looking at you is beyond my comprehension.”
“Remember that as you finger-fuck yourself tonight, Red. Make sure to whisper my name into the dark like the fucking boogie man and maybe, if you’re a good girl, I won’t torture you too much when I eventually have those legs wrapped around me.”
My walking wet dream, with an innocent face that begged for my cum to paint pretty pictures all over it. The sight of her staring at me across the room, with her big eyes devouring me like a hungry kitten, had my dick hard instantly. I needed to play with her, possess her, own her.
“Sweetheart, if no one’s told you what a fucking wet dream you are, then I’ll be the first.”
He steps closer to me, leaning down to whisper in my ear. “Humor me, vixen. I won’t allow anything to happen to you, but I need to make sure you’re safe. Now, be a good girl and say, ‘Yes, Grey.’” “Y-yes, Grey,” I stammer.
“Grey, tell me what to do. Tell me what you like.” “No, vixen. Show me what you like.”
“Grey, I need more. My fingers aren’t enough. I need you.” “That’s right, baby. You need me.”
So what if I spend hours texting her, talking to her on the phone, and thinking about her? I’m committed and invested, not pathetic. I run a hand through my hair, thinking about the hours I spent cooking and cleaning yesterday to prepare for her coming over. Fucking shit, I’m pathetic.
You’re my girl;
“Vixen, I just claimed you as mine to every person in this room. Soon, every damn person at this school will know that I belong to you. Hold my damn hand, woman.”
“Let’s go home, vixen.”
I follow him out, letting everyone know, without words, that I am his and he is mine.
“No, but every thought you had is written across your face, and I won’t accept that shit. You thinking that you’re anything less than perfect doesn’t sit right with me. I won’t let anyone talk shit about you, not even you. So, for those nasty little thoughts, your cheeks are going to turn red tonight.”
cradling me like I’m something precious while fucking my mouth like I’m his whore.
“Happy birthday, vixen. I fucking love you.” “I—what?” Did I just hear him correctly? Or did he fuck me so well that I’m hallucinating?
“You know what I want to hear, brat.” “Fine, I love you.
“Since I was a little girl. I’ve always been different from my sisters, always bigger and heavier; I take up more space. My body isn’t slender or petite. I’m this bullshit in-between, a designation that, up until a few years ago, was unaccounted for in most stores and fashion brands. I would either squeeze into clothes that didn’t flatter my shape or swim in clothes that were too overpowering for my height. It’s all-consuming,”
Grey doesn’t say anything, just wraps me in his arms and holds me together while
I break apart over pancakes in his pristine kitchen.
“I know my words won’t fix your perception of yourself, and it fucking guts me to hear you speak so damn poorly about your body, but baby? When I look at you, the first thing I see isn’t your ass and stomach, it’s your smile that brings me to my knees, your sass that keeps me humble, and how fucking devoted you are to everything and everyone you care about. Yeah, I love how you look, but I love you even more. Even if I was a fucking blind man, I’d be stunned by your beauty. Your worth isn’t physical, it’s in what you do, who you are, and what you believe in.”
But fuck that. I’ll slay the fucking dragons and bring her their heads as a goddamn trophy.
“We?” I question. “I need to call them alone.” “No, vixen. We’re a team now. We face this shitstorm together and lean on each
other to get through this fucking mess. We’re not letting this fucking divide us.”
“We’re facing this together. It’s you and me, vixen.
“Vixen.” Grey’s arm shoots out, stopping my progress. “It’s you and me, together. Remember that.” He links our hands, and we walk out as a united front.
Now back home, laying on Grey’s bed,
It’s amazing that in 2023, we still treat women like shit but hold men up on pillars for getting their dick wet.
My chest burns and I rub my palm over my heart. If she dies, this fucking organ dies, too.
“Vixen, I can live without kids, but I can’t fucking live without you.”
