Hyperbole and a Half

by Allie Brosh

For me, motivation is this horrible, scary game where I try to make myself do something while I actively avoid doing it.

Fortunately, it turns out that being scared of yourself is a somewhat effective motivational technique.

Fear and shame are the backbone of my self-control. They are my source of inspiration, my insurance against becoming entirely unacceptable. They help me do the right thing. And I am terrified of what I would be without them. Because I suspect that, left to my own devices, I would completely lose control of my life.

But as I grew older, it became harder and harder to access that expansive imaginary space that made my toys fun. I remember looking at them and feeling sort of frustrated and confused that things weren’t the same.

I had always viewed feelings as a weakness—annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself.

Exactly! I Consumed my time suppressing feelings so I won’t look like soft baby

hoping they’ll try a less hope-centric approach, but re-explaining your total inability to experience joy inevitably sounds kind of negative, like maybe you WANT to be depressed.

The problem might not even have a solution. But you aren’t necessarily looking for solutions. You’re maybe just looking for someone to say “Sorry about how dead your fish are,” or “Wow, those are super dead. I still like you, though.”

Oh my God! It touched me so deeply because this what I’m feeling lately... people like to show off “positivity” like you are doing a crime by being depressed... they want to jump with solutions as you never knew