we rounded the corner and spotted the goose in our living room. It was walking around and methodically pecking all of our belongings, as if to convey: This is mine now. I own it. And also this. And also this. And this. Everything is mine. As I watched from the doorway, I felt an absurd rage build up inside me. Who the fuck does this goose think it is? It thinks it can waltz into my home, bite everyone, and then proceed to claim ownership of my couch and my DVD player? Geese have no business owning DVD players. It was entirely unacceptable.
