Ugly Love

by Colleen Hoover

That’s how it is when a person develops an attraction toward someone. He’s nowhere, then suddenly he’s everywhere, whether you want him to be or not.

“I’m attracted to you, Tate,” he says, his voice low. “I want you, but I want you without any of that other stuff.”

“Don’t ask about my past,” he says firmly. “And never expect a future.”

God gives us the ugliness so we don’t take the beautiful things in life for granted.”

“Love isn’t always pretty, Tate. Sometimes you spend all your time hoping it’ll eventually be something different. Something better. Then, before you know it, you’re back to square one, and you lost your heart somewhere along the way.”

I’m also angry because here I am, standing in his apartment, looking for my pants, trying to stop my ridiculous tears, still feeling the remnants of him sliding down my leg, and I have no fucking clue why he had to ruin it. Ruin me. I finish getting dressed, and I leave.

It’s easy to confuse feelings and emotions for something they aren’t, especially when eye contact is involved. I completely understand now. I understand so well I almost wish he’d close his eyes, because he’s more than likely not feeling what his eyes are showing me right now.

“I suppose if a man lived through the ugliest side of love, he might never want to experience it again.”

“When life gives you lemons, make sure you know whose eyes you need to squeeze them in.”

“If I were capable of loving someone… it would be you.”

It said it all. I’ll never have his past, because she has it. I’ll never have his future, because he refuses to give it to anyone who isn’t her. And I’ll never know why, because he’ll never tell me.

So you give it up. You give it all up. You never want love again, no matter what kind it is, because no type of love will ever be worth living through the ugly love again.

It’s the beautiful moments like these that make up for the ugly love.